


Faith and Misfortune

by murakumo (orphan_account)



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, Gradual Relationship, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, beta!ronpa, non!despair
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-25
Updated: 2015-08-15
Packaged: 2018-01-13 17:26:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 37,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1234903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/murakumo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>People say that seeing is believing. If you saw something out of the ordinary, would you believe in it? Or would you deny it's ever happening?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fated Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Presenting to you, the very first multi-chaptered Beta KomaHina fanfic! For reference, it's Komaeda's 3rd beta design and Hinata's 5th beta design. This was written with my friend Erika, who you might also know as tumblr user hajimemed. She doesn't have an AO3 account as of yet.
> 
> And do keep in mind that this fanfic is based purely on headcanons, since we only have their designs to go off of. Try to be kind, as well. We don't need any trouble.

Hope's Peak Private Academy was Hinata Hajime's home. He lived in the dormitories that were provided for the students who wanted to be more independent for themselves. The reason for his living there was that he wanted to get away from his overbearing parents.

Each dorm had two students assigned to it. And, of course, there were both girls dorms and boys dorms. The dorms were equipped with a single bathroom, and a bed on either side. On each side of the beds was a night stand, and next to that, a single desk to share. It was a much better improvement from Hinata's old dingy home, to say the least.

Hinata was roomed with a guy named Souda Kazuichi. To say they got along well was an understatement; they were inseparable. They were best friends to the maximum level. While Souda was a good guy, he was also a bit of a creep. Well, more like he didn't pick up on social cues all that easily. It was pretty hard to explain the anomaly that was Souda.

Souda had the hots for this girl named Sonia Nevermind. She was the princess type, but hated to be pampered. She was also super popular, and ignored Souda on a day-to-day basis. Instead, she went for this weirdo named Gundam. What she saw in him, nobody else but they themselves knew. Hinata found the guy strange, but fun. He could tell he was a good guy deep down. And though Hinata would never even dare to tell this to Souda, he thought the two were a good match for each other.

As mentioned before, Sonia was popular - with both the guys and the girls. One friend she had was a girl named Enoshima Junko; another anomaly in a school full of weird kids. She was fashionable, and also sweet, but could also snap at you at any given moment. Sometimes she was quiet and didn't want to deal with anyone, other times she was a social butterfly. Hinata had never talked to her personally. In all honesty, he never wanted to deal with her. Junko was overbearing, and a bit intimidating. She could also be really scary when at the wrong end of the argument.

Yeah, Hope's Peak Private Academy was full of weirdos. Strange, but good weirdos. Except for one small, he daresay, anomaly.

In Hope's Peak, there was a rumor that was whispered among the students. A rumor about one particular student. If you get close to him, countless amounts of misfortunes will befall you. Teachers have been fired, students have gotten into accidents, a few of them proven fatal. Some say even his parents were a victim of his so-called curse. They call him the angel of death, the shinigami of Hope's Peak Private Academy.

However, Hinata refused to believe in those kinds of things. Rumors were just truths blown out of proportion. Exaggerated to the point where they're lies in of themselves. Insults and stories to deceive those gullible enough to believe in that stuff. It was, all in all, a bunch of bullshit.

Even as the teacher called for him after class ended, he didn't believe. Even as he responded enthusiastically, he didn't believe. Even as the teacher gave him a small stack of papers, telling him to go to the infirmary and delivering it to the only missing student in class, he didn't believe. Even as he realized that it was the anomaly of anomalies that the class was missing, he didn't believe. Even as he walked down the halls, humming softly to himself, he didn't believe. Even as he neared the infirmary door, knocking on it, he didn't believe. And when he opened the door... he told himself that he didn't believe.

Komaeda Nagito stood by the windowsill, looking over the track field where a bunch of kids had gym class. It was a windy day, and the windows were open, making the white curtains flutter around him. For a second, Hinata thought they looked like angel wings. He was completely mesmerized. But that broke as soon as Komaeda turned to him, expressionless. Silently, he shut the window, made his way back to the bed and climbed onto it.

If he hadn't looked at Hinata, he would've thought that Komaeda didn't notice him at all.

“Is there something you need from the nurse? If you hadn't noticed, she's out,” Komaeda stated, picking up a book that was lying on the bed before.

“Oh, no. The teacher wanted me to give you these to work on.” Hinata flapped the small stack of papers in his hand. He walked over, dropping them on the bottom of the bed. Komaeda muttered a thanks, and returned to reading, not even glancing at the papers. "So, I heard you got a pretty high fever. Well, according to the teacher,” Hinata said, conversational.

Komaeda scoffed, glaring at Hinata for a split second. "Of course I do." The tone he assumed was unalike his previous one just seconds ago. Instead of being quiet and shy, he was more brash. "Why else would I be lying here in the infirmary? Quite smart of you, Mr. Ace Student."

Hinata grimaced. “My name isn't Mr. Ace Student,” he grumbled, sitting on the chair next to the bed.

“I guess so. Idiot seems to be a better term for you,” Komaeda responded, eyes never wandering from his book.

 _If you insist, Mr. Shinigami_ , Hinata refrained from saying. “So... what's that you're reading?” he asked instead.

Komaeda shot him a look. “Ghost Hunt. It's a fictional horror novel. I don't think that you of all people would be interested,” he responded curtly.

“You read _horror novels_?" Hinata's eyes widened in awe. "Are you kidding me? I'm a huge enthusiast about scary stuff!"

A brow raised in curiosity at his abruptness. "A huge enthusiast, huh…?" His fingers flicked through the pages while his eyes darted from word to word, then murmurs something in response. "How amusing."

Perturbed by the terse reply, Hinata tried to resume the conversation. A forced laugh. "I guess I know where you're coming from. I mean, nowadays, people seem to take it as a disgrace of genre… But I'm not one of those people."

"I'm quite relieved you understand," he said, a little louder, closing the book shut. "It's not the film or novel's fault they couldn't handle the frightening portions. Is that all they see in horror? They hadn't been listening, then. If you aren't so witless to notice, horror mostly derives from tragedies. That's why Hanako had been haunting school bathrooms ever since she died. Because nobody wanted to play with the poor little girl." Komaeda heaved a sigh. "It only goes to show that the ghosts that now haunt the living are still in search of company. They're misguided. Are people so obtuse and afraid to understand how they feel? They may be ghosts, but nothing will confiscate the fact that they were once human. People who felt sorrow and loneliness and misery. Do you see where I’m coming from?”

"I know how you feel," he tried to say, fazed by his impulsive speech. It was startling to hear concise words from him, who happened to be so timid and taciturn just minutes ago. "I think it's why few people seem to hang out with me. They either think what I like is boring or lame."

That comment was nothing compared to what Komaeda goes through, of course. He knew far too well how people took him; the mere mention of his name elicited scowls and scorns. He wasn’t afraid of the rumors, let alone consider them the truth. They were all but whispers and words coming from the naive and callow. He never liked injustice. Hinata was sure that there was more to Komaeda that he’d need to know.

As soon as he spoke, though, Komaeda had nestled back into the covers and went back to reading again. A tranquil breeze snuffs out the last of his efforts to extend their conversation, but he let the silence be. That was perhaps enough foreword from him, Hinata supposed. There was always the next day to look up to; because from this day on, he'd become the boy who fetched his homework.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who dont know, Hanako is a ghost story in Japan. Similar to the Bloody Mary we have here. If you spot any mistakes, please tell me!


	2. Invitation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter by myself, mostly. Erika wrote a tiny bit of it, but was forced off the computer. So, this chapter is dedicated both to her and to my friend Sammy, who I converted to the beta komahina ways.
> 
> I'm sorry this took so long, by the way. As previously mentioned, since Erika had to go, I've been having to work on it myself. The updates for this will never have a definite deadline, as I can only write when I have the time, and when I have the inspiration to.

Days passed by, each accompanied with a visit to the infirmary. After their first visit, conversation was a simple greeting, a bit of small talk, then good bye. Not that Hinata didn't try, it just seemed that the small student refused to speak past a few words. But, with each visit, it seemed like Komaeda was talking more and more. He seemed to be warming up to Hinata, to say the least.

A week passed. Hinata made his way to the infirmary again. Another packet of work was in his hand, labeled for Komaeda Nagito. As always he knocked, but entered without waiting for an answer. Komaeda was looking out of the open window at the gym class below, as he usually was when Hinata entered. Once he knew Hinata had come in, he closed the window and crawled into the infirmary bed.

“Package for Komaeda Nagito!” Hinata said cheerfully, waving the papers. Komaeda didn't spare him a glance, instead just picking up his book and opening to the page he left off. “Reading horror again?” Hinata asked, placing the work at the foot of the infirmary bed.

“Your powers of observation continue to amaze me,” Komaeda responded, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Hinata just smiled, walking past the bed and leaning against the windowsill. “And? What's the title?”

“Another. It's a more popular one, and has it's own TV adaption.” Komaeda flipped a page, eyes darting across the words as he read.

“Oh, I've read that one!” Hinata exclaimed. “The ending was completely unexpected! I was surprised.”

A ghost of a smile leapt onto Komaeda's face. "I quite agree with you on that.” A few seconds of silence passed, before, surprisingly, Komaeda spoke up. “So, idiot, is there any other horror stories you've read _besides_ the ones I've mentioned?”

Hinata took a second to process that. Komaeda actually asked him a question. That made him feel... kinda giddy. Snapping out of his two second daze, he nodded enthusiastically. “Of course! I've read The Summer of Ubume, Edge, Revenge, and Shiki!” He puffed out his chest, grinning.

Komaeda rolled his eyes. “Shiki isn't in the horror genre. It's thriller. There is a big difference,” he chided.

“O-oh... Right... I knew that,” Hinata mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

Komaeda let out a puff of breathe that sounded like a laugh. He went back to reading, shaking his head slightly. “Idiot, not even knowing something as simple as that...” he hummed.

“My name isn't idiot, you know,” Hinata grumbled. Komaeda glanced at him, an eyebrow raised.

“How would I know? You never introduced yourself to me,” he pointed out.

“Well! My name is Hinata. Hinata Hajime. It's a pleasure to meet you, Komaeda Nagito,” Hinata said, bowing mockingly.

A suppressed snort. Closing the book in his hands, he looked at Hinata and squinted. "Next time, introduce yourself first, yes?"

“Next time?” Hinata repeated. “Then, I'll be meeting you again soon?” Komaeda turned his head, refusing to meet Hinata's gaze. He was quiet for a minute, then another. Hinata wasn't sure if he was going to respond at all. He straightened himself up, ready to walk out, before Komaeda stopped him.

“If...” Komaeda began, twisting the sheets in his hands. “I-if you want to, I mean.... I guess you could... come over to my place and... w-watch a horror movie with me.”

Hinata was surprised, to say the least. He never expected Komaeda to do something like invite him over. They've barely had any decent conversations. The way Komaeda was fidgeting was kind of... adorable. And when those gray eyes glanced at him uncertainly, he found himself nodding.

"Sure! I think that'd be great," Hinata finally answered. Komaeda's lips lifted up the tiniest bit as he ripped off a piece of the worksheet Hinata brought him. Grabbing a pen from the stand next to the bed, he scribbled down something, and handed it to the taller student.

"Here's my address, then. It isn't too far from the school," Komaeda stated. Hinata took the slip of paper and put it in his pocket for safe keeping. “Come over at six pm, when the sun starts to set. Otherwise, the glare of the sun will affect the level of enjoyment for it,” Komaeda explained. Hinata nodded, thinking that Komaeda was trying to keep some sort of excitement in. It was cute.

As they parted ways, questions began to fill Hinata's mind. Had Komaeda ever had someone over before? Had he ever even had someone to call a friend? Did he live alone? What kind of house did he have? Did he have any siblings? Hinata found himself wanting to know more about the mysterious Komaeda. And with that feeling came a mix of excitement, and dread.

...

Come six pm, Hinata did not find himself in front of a house. Rather than that, he found himself in front of what would be called a _mansion_. The sky was reddening behind it, giving it a creepy atmosphere. The roof was a bit tattered, black shingles falling off. Most of the windows were boarded up on the second floor. All the third floor windows were boarded up too. However, the attic window was not boarded up. The big twin oak doors seem to loom at him, like they were going to swallow him up. It didn't help that surrounding the mansion on every side but the front was a thick forest.

Hinata swallowed heavily. This might be harder than he anticipated. Hesitantly, he raised his free hand and pushed the doorbell. Almost immediately the large doors opened, as if his classmate had been right in front of the door, waiting for this exact moment. Hinata jumped back a bit as Komaeda stared up at him, that usual glare plastered on his face. Hinata almost let out a sigh of relief; he had thought he had gotten the wrong place for a minute there.

They stood there, a bit awkwardly. “Well? Are you going to come in or what, idiot?” Komaeda asked in a bored tone. Trying not to trip over himself, Hinata thanked him as he entered.

The house looked bigger on the inside than it did on the outside. The little light filtering in from windows gave it a creepy feeling, like they were looming shadows instead of light. The flooring was made out of a sturdy dark brown wood; in the places with no light, it seemed almost black. In front of them was a grand staircase that led up to the second floor, fitted with a dark red carpet. Above them was a beautiful chandelier that sparkled in the little sunlight there was. It was a beautiful house, but it gave off a lonely feeling. No lights were on, and there were no noises indicating that there were other people here. It seemed to have little to no furniture, as well.

The front door shut with a loud bang, snapping Hinata out of his thoughts. “You have a nice house!” he said quickly, turning around to face Komaeda. “It seems a bit quiet, though. Is there anyone else here?”

Komaeda frowned. “My parents are out. They took a... vacation of sorts,” he answered and began to walk towards a door to the left of the giant stairway. Hinata hurried after him. “I don't have any of those _maids_ or _servants_ that people usually associate with this kind of estate, either. Nor do I have any siblings.”

“So... you live here all by yourself, then?” Hinata asked. Komaeda glanced at him from out of the corner of his eye.

“Obviously, since I stated no one else is here. Are you so stupid that I have you spell everything out for you?” he muttered.

Hinata brushed off the insult with a wave of his hand. “Doesn't it get lonely here? This place is like a mansion.”

“That's because it _is_ a mansion, idiot. And no, I'm content living here by myself,” Komaeda grumbled, opening the door and going inside. Hinata followed, eyes widening as he entered.

There was a large TV, hanging on the wall on the far side of the room. Below it were various video game consoles, a DVD player, and even a VCR player. On either side of the TV were two large speakers. Various wall shelves were to the left, filled with horror movies, video games, books, CDs, etc. A large red couch, big enough to seat at least six people, was situated in the middle of the room, facing the TV.

“What? Are you waiting for the grass to grow?” Komaeda's voice brought Hinata back to reality. He was in front of the TV, kneeling down to the DVD player with a case in hand.

“Sorry,” Hinata quickly apologized. He made his way over to the couch, plopping down in the middle. “It's just... impressive is all. I've never seen an entertainment room this big before.”

Komaeda scoffed, putting in the DVD. He pressed a button on the side of the TV, it blinking on almost immediately. “It's not impressive at all. It's pretty plain to me. You don't visit other people much, do you?”

Hinata frowned. _Obviously you don't either, since you think_ this _is normal,_ he kept to himself. “So, what movie did you pick?” he asked as Komaeda sat on the right end of the couch.

“Don't worry, I picked the least scary movie I had.”

“And? What's the title?”

“ _Chakushin Ari_. Made in 2003. America got a remake of it in 2008, but it was horrible. Not even worth wasting my time on.” The Menu loaded up. Komaeda picked up the remote and pressed play. The sun was almost all the way down, and the lights were turned off, creating the perfect creepy atmosphere. Hinata tensed as the screen faded to black, then the beginning credits started playing.

“Wasn't _Chakushin Ari_ one of the top ten horror movies in Japan?” Hinata asked, voice wavering. He glanced over at Komaeda, who looked like he was wearing the smallest of smirks.

“Just because it was in the top ten doesn't mean it was the scariest,” Komaeda remarked. They didn't exchange any words after that. The movie went on in silence, Komaeda looking bored while Hinata was shaking in his skin. He jumped at every little slam, was on edge every time the camera peeked around.

When Yoko died, Hinata looked like he was on the verge of tears. Komaeda glanced at him, wondering why on earth this guy was so into horror when he got scared just by this level? Was he a masochist or something? By the time Kenji died, Hinata was curled into a ball. Komaeda observed him, amused by his reactions. Hinata's eyes were glued to the screen, and he was leaning forward. Though he was trembling, he looked as if he didn't mind it.

All of a sudden, he let out a yell of anger, surprising Komaeda. “What the hell are they doing with her? That's obviously a hoax! There's no way they could keep her alive!” Hinata ranted, glaring at the screen. Komaeda looked at the screen. Those reporters and journalists were taking away Natsumi to the studio, where they would later hold her death live.

When her gruesome death came, Hinata was mortified. “H-h-h-her head j-just popped off! Th-that isn't normal!” he gasped.

“There's no way that could've happened, anyway,” Komaeda complained. “She would've died way before then. No one's head could spin around like that and still have them live long enough for their head to pop off.”

Hinata drew in a shaky breath. “I-I guess...” he muttered, his attention still on the TV. Suddenly, that cell tone began to rang. Hinata paled even further, if possible. “No way... Not Yumi! Not Yumi! You can't kill Yumi!” he yelped. “No, no, no! At least let _her_ live!”

The movie continued on, Yumi and Yamashita doing their detective work. Hinata grew more and more worried for the two, which was amusing to Komaeda. “What's she doing? Is she going in there?” Yumi was at the old hospital, prepared to check it out on her own. Yamashita's cell phone went off, and Hinata gasped. “Is he in there? Is he really in there? There's not way he's in there.” Yumi entered the hospital, and kept exploring. Every time Yamashita's cell went off, Hinata jumped. “There's no way. This is a trap. It's gotta be a trap.” She discovered the source of the ringing. “I _knew it_! I _knew_ it was a trap! Get out of there, Yumi!”

Komaeda wanted to laugh so badly. Hinata was completely freaking out, yelling at the TV as if Yumi could hear him. “Get _out of there_! _What are you doing_?! Don't hug her, she's going to kill you! Wait- what? What's happening? I don't understand.”

As the movie came to an end, Hinata just stared as the credits rolled, confused. “Did... did he live? Is she okay? What happened?” Komaeda stood up, walking over to the light switch and flicking it on. Hinata rubbed his eyes, leaning back on the couch. “Wow.... What time is it?”

“Almost eight,” Komaeda answered, turning off the TV.

“Eight? Oh crap, I gotta go, then!” Hinata fretted, jumping off of the couch. He rushed out to the front door, Komaeda following behind.

“Curfew?” Komaeda wondered, watching Hinata put back on his jacket, which he had taken off during the movie.

“Nah, the campus gates close at nine,” Hinata said, turning to face Komaeda. He paused, putting on a smile. “I had a lot of fun. We should do this again sometime.”

Komaeda flushed, turning his head away. “Just hurry up and go, idiot,” he grumbled.

“I told you, my name isn't idiot. It's Hinata Hajime,” Hinata sighed. Komaeda glared at him, moving past him and throwing open the front door. He grabbed Hinata's wrist and threw him out.

“Then just hurry up and leave, Hinata-kun!” Komaeda yelled, slamming the door.

Hinata blinked, staring at the large twin oak doors. “Hinata....-kun?” he whispered. He replayed the words in his head, his face growing hot. _Then just hurry up and leave, Hinata-kun!_ Hinata brought a hand up to cover his face, grinning like an idiot. _Hinata-kun..._

He found himself liking the way Komaeda said his name. Probably more than he should.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went through a lot to make this chapter. I searched up various horror novels, and I watched the movie just for this. This movie (or, the later remake of it in 2008) brings a lot of bad memories for me. I hope you guys enjoyed it, because I made it as perfect as I possibly could. (Goes to show just how committed I am to this fanfic.) I also tried to keep as many spoilers out as possible, for those who might want to watch it.
> 
> As always, if you spot any errors, please tell me and I will fix it!


	3. Disease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not content with this chapter at all, but I gotta post something. What happens is important, though. This isn't filler at all. It has several important points, but I'm just not content with how I wrote it. I don't like putting too many time skips, either. I guess there technically isn't too many, but... Eh, whatever. Hope you enjoy it!

Ever since Hinata began to visit Komaeda in the infirmary, he starts the day feeling like something is off. When he wakes up in his dorm room, though Souda's still snoring away in the other bed, it feels... incomplete. Like an important piece to his life is missing. It's only until he visits Komaeda that the feeling is gone. He feels whole again, like everything is perfect.

It's a strange phenomenon, but not an unpleasant one. Hinata doesn't get what it means, of course, and he doesn't feel like going to anyone for advice on it. They'd just say he was imagining things, to just ignore it. But deep down, Hinata knew it was more than his imagination. It was something far bigger. He just wished he knew what exactly _it_ was.

“Hey, Hinata-kun, do you have any plans this weekend?” The question was sudden, out of the blue. Komaeda and Hinata had just been discussing (though it was more Hinata telling Komaeda about it) a new horror movie that was coming out. Hinata blinked once, processing the question.

“No, I don't think so,” Hinata answered, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “Why, do you want me to come over again?”

Komaeda began to twist the sheets in his hand, a habit that Hinata noticed he did when he got nervous. He always fiddled with something, whether it was the infirmary bed sheets, or his jacket sleeve. Hinata guessed it was a coping mechanism of sorts. Maybe something to calm him down, or to help him focus as he thought of what to say next. “Well... you seemed to like _Chakushin Ari,_ and it has a sequel, so... I just thought, maybe...” he trailed off.

A little chortle escaped Hinata's lips. "Well, I wouldn't really say I was fond of it, but it was fun having to watch it with you."

Komaeda's brow twitched, his cheeks flushing. "...Shut up. You were wailing and whining throughout the whole movie, anyway. I thought you liked horror?"

Hinata shrugged. "I'm just the type who likes the thrill."

"Sure you do. If I told you someone was looking at you from behind, would you still like it?"

Frowning, he searched for a decent answer. He glanced from the corner of his eye and made sure Komaeda was simply teasing. "I don't really mean it that way," he said. "I get scared like a normal person would. But that doesn't stop me from liking it. In fact, the fact that it did get to me all goes to show that they make these horror movies effectively. That's what makes it good. But unlike other people who'd be like 'Blegh, let's never watch a horror movie again!' I do enjoy it. I like to stay afterward. I think you can put it that way."

Komaeda seemed to ponder about his answer. "Even if that horror movie scarred you for a long time," he began, after a little while has passed. "Would you still like it?"

"The fact that it left an impression gives it away. Of course, yeah."

"Is that so," he murmured. He sounded like he was still in deep thought. Then, after a while, a little smile cracked into his lips. Looking somewhat amused at his answers, Hinata felt flattered and embarrassed at the same time. It did lighten his heart though, that Komaeda took him somewhat seriously. He didn't just laugh it off. "So, are you coming or not?"

Hinata smiled. “Yeah, sure!” he agreed. “And since it's the weekend, do you mind if I come earlier? Say around... 4 PM?”

Komaeda closed his eyes, leaning back. “Come whenever suits you best,” he said. “Now, you were saying something about a new horror movie coming out?”

Hinata was surprised that Komaeda actually listened to his ramblings. So, with a smile, he continued.

...

Hinata knocked several times on the large oak doors. He rang the doorbell about three, maybe five times. He waited outside for about 10 minutes for them to open, and for Komaeda to let him in. However, nothing of the sort happened. The doors never opened, he didn't hear Komaeda's voice at all, nothing. Hinata began to ponder on what happened to him. Was he out? Did he forget that Hinata was coming over today? It was a possibility, considering he probably had little to no friends. He doubted that anyone other than himself had ever hung out with him before.

An idea came to him, and he reached for the door handle. Surprisingly enough, it opened. _So, it was unlocked, then._ _That would've been good to know_ , Hinata thought bitterly. He stuck his head inside, before going in completely and closing the door behind him. “Komaeda?” he called out. His voiced echoed throughout the mansion, but he received no response. Frowning, he began to explore.

Hinata explored the first floor first. He checked the living room right away, since he knew where that was. The TV was turned off, and no lights were on. No sign of Komaeda either. There was also a kitchen, a large dining room, a locked door that could possibly lead to the basement, and several bathrooms. But, there was still no sign of Komaeda.

 _Well, if he wasn't on the first floor, he could be on the second_ , Hinata reasoned. He made his way up the grand staircase, and began to explore the second floor. Immediately, something caught his interest. Two large twin wooden doors. They had carvings in them that looked like symbols and various intricate designs. There had been no doors like _this_ on the first floor.

He made his way over to the large doors, curious. As a test, he rattled the door handle. It was locked. A nameplate next to the doors read _Library_. _Well, that's odd._ _Why would somebody need to lock their library?_ Hinata wondered. He leaned closer to the doors, checking out the designs. He was so engrossed in them that he didn't hear the footsteps behind him.

“What are you doing?”

Hinata yelped, whirling around to see Komaeda staring at him. He has a blanket wrapped around him, and he was wearing pajamas. His face was red, and he had bags under his eyes.

“I, uh... You said to come over today, but you didn't answer the front door. And since I have no idea where your room is, I went around looking for it. But there was no sign of you, and I saw this door here and it looked interesting! And-” Hinata stopped his rambling as Komaeda let out a wheeze, which turned to several wheezes. Wait, was he laughing? More importantly, why was he wheezing?

“Komaeda, are you... sick?” Hinata asked, tilting his head. Komaeda let out a harsh cough, immediately stopping his impromptu... wheezing. He sniffed, rubbing his nose.

“I have a particularly bad fever today, if that's what you mean,” Komaeda answered, his voice nasally and a bit scratchy. “I should rest, so... you can go back for today.” He turned, heading into a dark hallway. Ignoring his suggestion to leave, Hinata followed after him.

“You're sick. And since you said you live alone, there's no one to take care of you. So! I'll take care of you for today,” Hinata decided. Komaeda glanced over at him, then nodded. Hinata was surprised that he didn't protest, like he thought he would.

Komaeda stopped in front of a door labeled _My Room._ Silently, he opened it, and the two went inside. It was a large room, with minimal furniture. There was a large bed with dark blue sheets on the far wall. Next to it was a nightstand with a lamp situated on top. On the other side was a desk with a couple of books on it. On the left side of the room was another door, which Hinata guessed was to a side room of sorts. The walls were painted a grayish blue, and the carpet was a smooth black. It was simple.

Komaeda hopped into his bed, situating the blanket he had around him so that it was on top of him. Hinata pulled out the chair from the desk, and sat next to the bed. “So, what are you sick with?” he asked.

“Just a common cold, most likely,” Komaeda said with a cough.

“Fever?”

A pause. “102.4, on the dot.”

Hinata stared at him disbelievingly. “A fever of 102? And you only have a cold?”

“It's not _that_ uncommon. That's usually the highest you can get for the common cold. I've suffered higher temperatures.” Komaeda waved his hand.

Hinata leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “What's the highest?”

“104.6, exactly.” Komaeda let out a sigh. “It wasn't the best of days, for me. It only lasted for about half an hour before going back down to 103, though.”

Hinata's eyes widened. “That's crazy! How did it get so high?”

“I have a disease, of sorts.” Komaeda closed his eyes. “It weakens my immune system. That's why I'm in the infirmary a lot, and why you have to bring me all my work.”

Hinata hummed. “So, did it just get worse today, or?”

“Not exactly. Since winter is coming soon, so does the cold weather. This place's insulation isn't that great, so the cold air seeps in through the walls. It's hard to stay warm, and I don't exactly have a heater to use. Haven't been well enough to go out and buy one, either.”

“Why don't you live at the dorms instead?”

“Because I've lived in this place all my life. I have to take care of it. It's a memento...”

“A memento?”

“Yeah... from my family...”

Hinata hummed, staring down at the floor. His mind began to wonder, how exactly hard it must be for Komaeda being here all by himself. In his minds eye, he pictured Komaeda laying in his bed, sick, with no one but himself to take care of him. He imagined how lonely it must be. Every cough echoing off the walls, throughout the house...

He looked at Komaeda, expression softening. The smaller boy's breathing had evened out; he must've fallen asleep. An emotion he couldn't put a name on welled up inside of him. He wanted to help. He wanted to be able to do something, anything. As if a bulb lit up in his head, he got an idea. Quietly, he got up from the chair, scribbling down something on a piece of paper on the desk. With one last glance at Komaeda, he left the room.

...

Komaeda awoke to a smell, which immediately gave away that something was off. It wasn't a bad smell; it actually smelled really good. What threw him off was that there was no one in his house other than him. In return, that smell couldn't have been produced by no one other than himself. But here he was, in bed, and there was that smell.

When had he fallen asleep in the first place? He couldn't remember. Did someone come over? He vaguely remembered talking to someone... but who? Komaeda looked to his left, at his desk. The chair was out of place, facing the bed. There was also a piece of paper in the middle on it, which was definitely not there before. Cautiously, he slid out of his bed, walking over to the paper and picking it up.

_I'll be back soon. - Hinata_

“Oh, so he did come over after all,” Komaeda sighed to himself. He looked at the clock, reading _7:43 PM._ If he was remembering correctly, Hinata said he would come over at 4 PM. But, the problem was that Komaeda can't remember if he did. Huffing in frustration, he balled up the piece of paper and tossed it in the trash bin.

“Ah, you're awake,” Hinata's voice came from behind him. Komaeda turned around, a frown on his face. Hinata was standing in the doorway to his room, a bowl of something in his hands. So _that_ was where that smell was coming from.

“I thought you would've left by now,” Komaeda sighed, turning and sitting on the edge of his bed. Hinata blinked a couple of times, before walking over with a wide smile.

“Why would I do that? I left a note saying I'd be back soon, didn't I? Besides, I can't just leave when one of my friends are sick, you know,” he said, handing the bowl to Komaeda. The word made Komaeda tense. Friends... Were they friends?

Letting out a huff, Komaeda examined the bowl in his hand skeptically. It was... a soup of sorts? He glanced at his classmate, who was now looking out his window, humming a tune to himself. Komaeda gnawed on his lips trying to think of something to say. “Did... did you make this for me?” he decided to ask.

“Hm?” Hinata looked over at him, that smile still in place. “Of course. I'm able to cook, you know. That's something I had to learn when I was on my own. Your kitchen is huge, you know! It took me forever just to find the ingredients I needed! And...”

Komaeda began to tune out Hinata's rambling. _On his own... so Hinata-kun had lived on his own too, at some point._ Komaeda tossed the thought around in his mind. “Wh-why...” he began, fidgeting with his jacket strings. “Why were you on your own?”

The question took Hinata off guard. He didn't expect Komaeda to ask anything about him; didn't even think he'd care enough. He found himself smiling. Maybe Komaeda was alright with being his friend. “My parents weren't the nicest of people,” Hinata began. “They were super strict, always expecting something great out of me. They constantly tried to push me into being something I'm not.” He looked out the window again, observing the darkening sky. “Because of that, I went out a lot. Escaped. I stayed over at my friends' houses on multiple occasions, which is where I learned to cook. They didn't let me stay if I couldn't do something to help around, after all. I also stayed out late, just to avoid them.”

“They found out what I was doing, of course. Gave me a curfew of 7 PM, those assholes. If I missed it, they'd hide the only game system I had somewhere. From then on, most of my days after that were spent studying or sleeping. And when I finally graduated middle school, they informed me that they enrolled me at Hope's Peak. Sent me away. When I got here, the assistants informed me that I could still live at home. Of course I decided to live in the dorms.” Hinata let out a bitter laugh. “I never want to see them again, honestly speaking. I understand that they could've had good intentions, but that's just not how you should parent your kid.”

Komaeda set down the bowl on his desk. (It was empty now, since he ate it while Hinata talked.) “You've had it rough...” he murmured, looking down at the floor.

Hinata stood up straight, letting out a sigh. “Yeah, well, it's in the past now. That's all over and done with, I don't have to see them again if I don't want to.” He glanced at the clock, and immediately paled. “Crap, it's already _eight_? I gotta get going!” Hinata yelped, rushing over to the door. “See ya, Komaeda!”

“Ah-! Hinata-kun!” Komaeda called after him. Hinata halted, looking back over his shoulder. Komaeda looked away, feeling his cheeks heating up. “W-will you come over tomorrow too?”

Hinata blinked at him once, before grinning. “Yeah! Of course!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, if you spot any mistakes, please tell me.


	4. Realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything happens for a reason.

Sunday came and went. Hinata visited Komaeda, as promised. Komaeda's health was in a much better state than the day before, but he wasn't completely recovered yet. Most of the day was spent with Hinata caring for Komaeda, not that he minded. Komaeda would make protests every now and then; Hinata would dismiss them. He cooked up lunch for the two, and they ate together. Once Komaeda was actually feeling better, they spent the rest of the day watching movies.

“I'll be back on Monday,” Komaeda had said. “I'll be in class, too, so you won't need to go to the infirmary afterward.”

“Are you sure you'll be alright? You don't have to force yourself if you aren't feeling well enough,” Hinata had responded, worry in his tone.

“I'll be fine, idiot. I only need a few of days of rest. It'll go away as quick as it came. It always does.” Komaeda twisted the sheets in his hand. “B-besides... Since you've been caring for me... I got better quicker...” This had brought a large smile to Hinata's face, which Komaeda immediately told him to wipe off.

Time passed way too quickly for Hinata's tastes, as it usually did. Before he knew it, it was getting late and he had to leave. The two bid each other farewell, and Hinata rushed back to Hope's Peak. It wasn't far from Komaeda's home. About a 10 minute walk, actually. Thankfully, the dorms weren't too far from the gates, either.

When he entered his dorm room, Souda was lazing away on his bed as usual, reading a car magazine. “Oh, you're back,” he said once he noticed the other. “Ya were out later than usual today.”

“Was I?” Hinata avoided his roommate’s prodding. He took his homework out of his backpack, setting himself up at their desk.

“You're usually back around at least 8:30, but it's 8:50 now.”

“What are you, a stalker? Since when did you start paying attention to that?”

Souda choked on air, sitting up quickly. “I ain't nothin' of the sort! I get worried too, you know?”

Hinata grinned to himself. “You tell yourself that.”

Souda grumbled, resting back onto his bed. “So, ya get in a fight on your way back from wherever?” he asked.

Hinata let out a soft chuckle. “Of course not. You know I'm no good in fights.”

Souda scoffed. “Ya bein' modest or somethin'? I seen ya fight before, bro. Ya ain't half bad.”

“Please, you give me too much credit.” Hinata fished out a pen from his bag, and began to focus on his work. The silence between the two didn't last long.

“I've heard around some, and ya seem to be hangin' out with that creepy short kid a lot,” Souda commented.

Hinata paused his hand, which was writing down an answer. He turned to look at Souda with a frown. “Is there something wrong with that?” he asked.

“No, no, don't get me wrong. I ain't complainin', if that's what ya think I'm doin'. Ya just seem to be, I dunno...” Souda scratched at his head. “Ya talk about him all the time now. Aren't ya scared of him?”

“Why would I be scared?” Hinata huffed, turning back to his homework. “He hasn't done anything wrong. Plus, hanging out with him is fun.” He tried to focus again, thumping his pen against his chin.

“ _Fun_? _That_ kid?” Souda questioned, incredulous. “Are ya sure we're talkin' about the same person here?”

“Unless you're talking about some other short creepy kid in this school whose name is not Komaeda Nagito, then yes.”

“How exactly is he _fun_?”

“We share the same interest in horror. Plus, he's kinda... cute. Once you get to know him, at least." Hinata smiled to himself. “Sure, he has a lot of bite to him, but I don't mind that. He also gets embarrassed easily. You could to the tiniest thing for him and he'd blush. It's adorable, y'know? And...” Hinata looked over at Souda, who was staring at him uncertainly. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Souda shook his head, looking back to the magazine in his hands. “Man, anyone ever tell ya how dense ya are?”

“What _are_ you talking about? You aren't making any sense.”

“Oh, nothin' at all. Try to brighten up sometime soon, will ya?”

Hinata clicked his tongue in annoyance, deciding to put his focus into his homework. Souda wasn't making any sense, anyway. There was just no use in talking to him when he got like this.

...

The next day, Komaeda showed up in class, just like he said he would. At that time, Hinata also began to notice things he didn't really like. When he entered the classroom, it was bustling with activity. Friends talking to each other, messing around. Some people greeted Hinata, and vice versa. As soon as Komaeda entered, it grew silent, minus the whispers that went around.

“Ugh, Mr. Gloomy is back.”

“And here I was hoping he finally changed classes, too.”

“No good comes around when that kid is here.”

“I wish he'd just disappear already.”

Komaeda's features were schooled ignorance. His face held no expression what-so-ever. He simply made his way to his seat, sat down, and got out his books. He payed no one a glance, not even Hinata. Hinata wanted to know what was going through his head. In instances like these, Komaeda was hard to read. It was difficult to even begin to guess what he was thinking.

Hinata wanted to get up, to go talk to Komaeda, to tell everyone that they were wrong about him. He wanted to defend him, to protect him from the rumors and the harsh whispers. But, reality doesn't work like it does in some sort of romantic fictional novel. Of course, the bell rang before he was able to do anything. The teacher entered, and the lesson started.

Hinata tried to concentrate on what the teacher was saying, but his mind kept wandering, worrying. He knew he didn't need to worry about Komaeda that much. Komaeda could take care of himself. He said himself that he was used to this kind of treatment by now. The fact of that saddened Hinata to a great extent. No one should have to get used to this sort of treatment. Hinata stole a glance at Komaeda, who was scribbling away diligently at his note sheet. Did he really not mind at all? Did any of this affect him? Was he worrying for nothing?

Class ended at four o'clock. The distant roll of the bell interrupted their humdrum lecture about significant figures. Hinata heard muffled sighs of relief hanging across and behind, earning a suspicious glare from their surly middle-aged teacher. Grumbling a "see you tomorrow," he took a beeline for the door and closed it with a bang. As the tap of footsteps pass, the classroom is filled with the same noise again: mutters and whispers and hisses of scorn and disgust and spite, buzzing around like machines. Hinata rolled his eyes. His classmates never change.

"I can't stand his lectures!" a classmate complained. Hinata tried to pay them no attention. "I'd rather do extra schoolwork than listen to his voice!"

"He's always _so_ strict about his classes. He's no fun!"

"At least he's a lot better to deal with than that _freak_."

Derisive laughter. "You can say that again."

The last one prompted Hinata to peek at Komaeda. He was browsing through a book and had his eyes fixed on the pages -- it nearly stoke impression from Hinata to see him so concentrated, without a flicker of regard from what everyone else was murmuring about; it was as if he'd distanced himself apart from the others. His mastery in ignorance brimmed him with concern.

Minutes later, everyone else stuffed their books, worksheets and pens in their backpacks and hurried out. Soon, the classroom was quiet and deserted, bare of any presence or sound. It was just him and Komaeda left, who seemed to be reading without any intent to stop.

Smile in place, Hinata stood up and made his way over to the other. “Do you have any plans to leave, or are you just gonna read there?” he asked playfully, tapping Komaeda on the shoulder.

Komaeda immediately closed his book, glancing up at the other. “I was waiting to see if you'd join them or not,” he stated in a bored tone. “I wanted to see if you were like the others.”

Hinata gave Komaeda a confused look. “Why would I do that?”

Komaeda stared at his desk in silence, eyebrows knit in concentration. “I don't understand you,” he muttered. “Why you keep associating yourself with me... I don't get it.”

“Do you not want me to... _associate_ with you or something?” Hinata wondered, leaning against the desk next to Komaeda's. Komaeda stayed silent, keeping his fixation on his desk. Hinata didn't understand what Komaeda was trying to get at. Was he trying to say he didn't want to be friends or something? Was Hinata getting ahead of himself in thinking that they were already friends?

Komaeda, on the other hand, was in deep thought about their situation, what the two had. Were they friends? Did Komaeda consider Hinata a friend? If asked, he supposed that the answer would be yes. But then what? Where does this go from here?

Deep down, Komaeda actually knew that Hinata wouldn't have joined in with the other classmates and their whispers. And it scared him. Being close with another human being scared him a lot. Friendship was a concept Komaeda was acquainted with, but never fully experienced. When he was a child, the other kids were all afraid of him and avoided him like the plague. The emotions he was experiencing, these feelings, everything was new to him.

Komaeda was more used to being on his own. He has been nearly all his life, all the way up until two weeks ago, when Hinata barged in. So he asked himself, why him? Why him of all people? Surely there were others Hinata could befriend instead, others who weren't as socially inept as he was. He wasn't fun, he wasn't the nicest person, but either way Hinata stuck with him.

Hinata was an anomaly, Komaeda figured as he snuck a glance at the taller boy. Hinata noticed right away, of course. He stood up straight, flashing Komaeda a weak, almost nervous smile. “Should I walk you home today?” he suggested, finally pulling Komaeda out of his thoughts.

Komaeda stood up from the desk, grabbing his bag as his cheeks tinted pink. “If you insist,” he grumbled, shooting Hinata a glare. Hinata's smile immediately widened, relieved that Komaeda was back to his normal self. They walked together out of the school. Komaeda made sure to put some distance between them, but Hinata didn't mind all that much. Both of them were silent, but it wasn't a bad silence. It was nice, comfortable.

From a distance away, a pair of bright blue eyes watched the two exit the gates together. Now, this development sure was interesting. Who would've thought Mr. Ace Student and Mr. Gloomy would be walking home together?

“Ah, Enoshima-san, what are you looking at?” Sonia asked, looking in the same direction. The two were gone by now. “Did you perhaps see someone suspicious?”

Junko laughed, waving a hand in front of her. “No, not at all! I just saw something...” She looked back in that direction, a smirk playing on her lips. “... interesting, is all.”

“Eh? Interesting?” Sonia wondered, watching as Junko began to walk off. A wave of anxiousness passed through her. This was worrisome. Junko being interested in something was never good news. Sonia really hoped she wasn't going to cause any trouble.

-

“Have you always walked home alone?” Hinata asked out of the blue. The two were just outside of the school grounds. Komaeda was walking somewhat closer to him, now that the sidewalk was narrower.

Komaeda scoffed. “Obviously, you idiot. I don't have any friends.”

Hinata hummed in thought. “Well...” he paused, trying to get his thoughts together. “Do you like being alone?”

Komaeda looked down, hands fiddling with the strings on his jacket. “It's pleasant and quiet being alone... but I feel like that's how I'm supposed to be,” he murmured.

Hinata glanced at him. “Hm? What do you mean by that?”

Komaeda smiled to himself; bitter, secretive. Like he was hiding something. “You wouldn't understand,” he murmured. His tone was distant, as if brushing Hinata off. It made Hinata... uncomfortable. He _wanted_ to understand Komaeda. He wanted to get to know him, to be his friend. And it troubled his mind when Komaeda was seemingly determined to keep him at a distance. It pained him, filled his heart with doubts.

Komaeda had always been a mystery to him. No matter how endearing and curious his quirks and smiles may be, he's always been drawn in by the mystery he gives off when he's there. Hinata wants to solve that mystery, wants to be close to Komaeda. Ever since they met in the infirmary that day, he was drawn to him. It was as if that meeting had tied wires around his wrist, and at the other end was Komaeda.

Hinata couldn't understand _why_. No matter how much he thought on it, he could never figure it out. The answer was there, but it was always right out of his reach. It was frustrating. Hinata wanted to know about his feelings, and about Komaeda. He just wished that the other was as willing.

Komaeda's nothing like anyone else, he thinks. Hinata is convinced that there isn't anybody that can match a personality like his -- mysteriously endearing, taciturn but aloof. He asks himself, has Komaeda always lived in the shadows, not wanting to come out? He did say he... was accustomed and seemed to like isolation. Did he ever, perhaps, actually want a friend?

Hinata feels as if he's too fixated on Komaeda sometimes. Maybe... he thinks he might even be--

“We're here, idiot,” Komaeda's voice snaps him out of his thoughts. Looking up, Hinata realized that, yes, they were now standing in front of Komaeda's... home.

“Oh,” Hinata said. “Yeah, it... seems so...”

Komaeda went up the steps, opening the front door. “I'll see you tomorrow then, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata rubbed the back of his neck, looking away. “Y-yeah... Tomorrow...” Komaeda shook his head, probably thinking something along the lines of _this idiot, spacing out at someone else's doorstep._ He went inside, closing the door behind him.

Hinata was really out of it on the way back to the school dorms. He felt... tense. No, more nervous. Or was it a sort of anxiety? Either way, it was a feeling he didn't like. He rushed to his dorm room; he needed to talk to Souda. Again, he was grateful that the male dorms weren't far from the gates.

“What's wrong with you?” Souda asked as soon as Hinata burst into the room. He watched as Hinata stumbled over to his bed, flopping on top of it.

“I'm in trouble, Souda,” he whined, voice muffled by his pillow.

Souda was genuinely confused. “What happened this time?”

“I think I'm starting to like him.”

“Like who?”

“Komaeda.”

Souda chuckled. “Didn't ya already like him? Ain'tcha all buddy buddy now?”

Hinata groaned, rolling over and staring at the ceiling. “That's not what I meant, and you know it,” he grumbled. Souda just hummed innocently. Sighing, Hinata covered his eyes with his arm. “I have it bad, don't I?”

“Yeah,” Souda agreed. “You're pretty screwed. In more ways than one, if you play it right.” Hinata threw his pillow at his roommate's face. Bullseye.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are beginning to heat up, wouldn't you say? We're getting into the first arc! Well, it's not so much as an arc as a small plot of sorts, but you know what I mean. Anyway, as always, if you spot any mistakes, please tell me!


	5. Confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP

Two days went by since Hinata realized his feelings. Hinata tried to act as normally as he could towards Komaeda, but the other was sharp. He knew something was up. But, with it being Komaeda, he didn't say a word. Since that day, Hinata also walked Komaeda home, though he never stayed. He was also spaced out more during classes, only snapping out of his daze once the bell rang. That wasn't all, of course. Life was never that easy. Something weird was also occurring at the same time. Well, not weird, but more... unexpected.

Enoshima Junko was never one of the many people who greeted Hinata in the mornings. But ever since that day, she suddenly started doing so. Not only that, but Hinata noticed she was always sneaking glances at him, smiling when their eyes met, observing him from afar. Whenever Hinata and Komaeda walked out of the school gates together, he felt her eyes on his back. It was a bit creepy, but Hinata tried to brush it off as nothing more than a coincidence. But as the days passed, that was getting harder and harder to do.

Additionally, Komaeda began to spend more time in the infirmary again. With December right around the corner, and the days getting colder, his disease was getting more and more prominent. The mutters of relief his classmates let out irked Hinata to no end. He was such a coward, though. He never had the guts to call them out. A small part of him, one that he resented, also felt relieved that he could spend a few days to compose and cool himself. He wouldn't have to worry about any short cute boys in glasses that'd make his heart race so fast whenever their eyes met every time he went into class. Of course, he still gave Komaeda his work, but only when they headed home together.

In the meantime, he settled with old-fashioned Hinata Hajime's way of dealing with the small crushes he developed. He'll keep on telling himself that he'll get past these stupid, stupid, stupid feelings in no time; all he has to do is just has to keep listening to the monotonous lecture of their sixth-period teacher and try not to think about it too much. Everything would go back to normal as soon as the feelings passed. (In his defense, though, Komaeda was really cute. It was hard to ignore.)

On the last day of November, Komaeda didn't show up at school. It worried Hinata to no end, given how high his fever got the last time he was home sick. The teacher still gave Komaeda's work to him to give to him after class, but when he ended up at Komaeda's doorstep, he chickened out. He imagined scenarios, things that could happen behind those closed doors. What if he made a fool of himself? What if Komaeda began to hate him? So instead, he slipped the work into Komaeda's mailbox and ran home, berating himself for being such an idiotic coward.

December 1st came around. Everyone around him began excitedly talking about their plans for Christmas, and the new year. Winter break began on the 16th, and Hinata knew he had to do something about the situation with Komaeda. He didn't come to school that day either; he really was sick, it seems. Hinata himself felt a little sick, too. His nerves were on edge from not being able to get enough sleep last night, his mind full of hateful thoughts and his imagination running wild.

“Good morning, Hinata-kun!”

And there it was. That overly joyful voice that began to call out to him in the mornings. On other days he was fine with it, but today it grinded his nerves down to a powder. Slowly, he turned, shooting Junko a glare. “What do you want, Enoshima?” he grumbled. The girl apparently caught the hint that he was in a bad mood, but she didn't seem to care any.

“Hmmm? Is there something wrong with giving people some attention?” she asked, putting her hands behind her back. Hinata felt his eye twitch in irritation. “You didn't seem to mind before, Hinata-kun! What's with the change of heart?”

“It's just weird. Creepy. You keep staring and smiling at me,” Hinata sighed. He noted that she didn't seem keen on leaving him alone anytime soon. Might as well ask her about it while the topic was up.

Junko giggled. “I don't understand what's so wrong with it! I noticed you, and so I started to pay attention to you. Speaking of noticing people...” Her lips twisted into a mischievous grin. “You seem to be hanging out with that Little Mister Gloomy Komaeda-kun a lot lately. Isn't that right?”

Hinata froze. So that's what this was about. Immediately, he put his guard up. “Is there something wrong with giving people some attention?” he shot her words back at her. “Besides, I don't think that has anything to do with _you_.”

Junko's smile fell. She kept her eyes on him, of course. Observing him, studying him. Hinata tried his best not to look away; it was a challenge of sorts. “Oh, Hinata-kun...” Her mouth lifted into a smirk. She was looking down on him. “Is it a crime for a girl to have an... eye for things? Wouldn't you think it's interesting to see somebody popular _and_ an honor student with _that_ cute little creep? You never know what kind of _feelings_ can develop in a situation like that!”

Hinata sharpened his glare. She was toying with him, that much he knew. Goading him on, trying to get a reaction out of him. Make him blow up. Boil the blood in his veins.

Junko grinned at his reaction. “Aww, Hinata-kun,” she cooed. “Don't worry - I won't tell anyone! It's a secret between just you and me. Besides, I wouldn't want to be the one to break a newly blossoming relationship, you know? It would cost so much to rip apart something so precious and fragile!"

“It's none of your business,” he uttered lowly. It just pissed him off, those words. Junko was good at pushing buttons like that. Manipulating people and their emotions.

Junko just laughed, putting her hands on her sides. “Oh, really? Because _I_ heard that Komaeda-kun's a little _sicker_ than before! It seems like time's ticking out little by little for him. Nobody wants to miss the last train home, eh, Hinata-kun?"

Hinata could've sworn his heart almost stopped in that moment. An icy chill went through him as he lost his footing, stumbling back against the wall for support. The thought hadn't even occurred to him. He always took Komaeda's presence with him for granted. Komaeda could be in a lot of trouble right now, and here he was, fretting about a little _crush_ he had on him. Hinata was the only one Komaeda had. He had said his parents were on a vacation of sorts, and he didn't have any other friends. What if... What Komaeda was already...

A sudden burst of worry, anger, and some other emotion he couldn't put a name on shot through his veins. Hinata took off running without another word; Junko watched him leave with an amused expression.

...

Komaeda's house has the archetype of a vampire's. It's dingy, opulent; the chandeliers aloft seemed as though they've never been lit, the floorboards never blemished with footsteps. His house was designed to daunt its visitors, Hinata supposes, and to act as a home to its owners as well.

Hinata's shadow was terribly clear as he stumbled closer to Komaeda's room. The door was ajar, creaking when he nudged it open. It's noisy enough to prompt Komaeda to glance up from his book, squinting. “What's with all that racket you're making? I’m trying to read.”

“Enoshima told me you were dying,” Hinata huffs, out of breath from running all the way to Komaeda's house. “Why didn't you tell me? How could you just-" His voice caught in his throat and it twinged, but he fought the hurt back and the anger flared up again. "-leave without at least telling me?"

Komaeda was incredulous. “She told you _what_ now?”

Hinata's eyes narrowed into deadly glare. “She told me you were dying! Dying, for heaven's sake! You could've told me!”

“Dying?” He's perplexed, polite enough to close his book and place it by the bedside to match Hinata's irked gaze. “Hinata-kun, listen to me. I'm not-”

“ _Don't_ lie to me!"

Komaeda blinked at the interruption, but he didn't back down; he tightened his frown and tipped his chin up, raising his fangs as well. "I'm not lying to you. Even if I was, do you think I could sit up and waste time bickering with you right now?"

"Wasting time?" Hinata growled in disbelief, gritting his teeth, inching closer to focus his eyes on Komaeda's ashen ones. They're filled with his usual ire and boredom, but with a hint of frank confusion. It doubled his indignation further. "You think we're just wasting time here in your godforsaken home and arguing about stupid things? Is that what you _really_ think this is?"

"Why else would I think otherwise?" Komaeda snapped again. "Aren't you enough of an idiot already to question my home a mansion when you already _know_ it is - to fall for Enoshima-san's lies?" Hinata opened his mouth to speak but couldn't find anything else to argue to that. He already felt like he was losing, losing, losing - all to Enoshima's lies and Komaeda's sharp tongue and his own mistake. “I'm not dying, you idiot. Just get it through your head, and if you still pick to try and argue with me, then _so help me_ because I'm _not._ "

Hinata immediately quieted down. Komaeda heaved a sigh, rubbing his forehead in an attempt to calm himself. “First off, Enoshima-san was probably toying with you. You know she does that.” Komaeda shot Hinata a glare. He realized how stupid he was, believing Junko's words. “Secondly, why would you think I wouldn't tell you I was dying? Do you think I wouldn't tell you something _that_ important after all we've become?"

Hinata felt his heart fluttering in his chest, the words ringing in his mind. Yet the doubt stayed, the same thing that kept him up the previous night. "Because I... I'm nothing but a classmate to you, aren't I? I'm... just that guy who keeps visiting you every single day just to fetch your homework..."

Komaeda frowned at him. "Do you think I don't consider you as a friend? Is that what you think of me as well? That I'm just nothing but a classmate to you? That I'm the boy who you visit everyday just to fetch me my homework?"

Hinata's breath caught in his throat, hands clenched into tight fists. "...No. You're not just that to me. You're not." _You're so much more._

Komaeda's anger faded. His eyes were opaque and hard to fathom; they peaked with curiosity. "I thought you weren't like everyone else," he said, a calmer tone to his words.

"I'm not," Hinata replied, looking down at his shoes - leathery, but unpolished and worn out. Would he even stand a chance against him? "You... I..." Hinata fidgeted with his hands - and he can't avoid noticing the mirth that twinkled in Komaeda's eyes - it took him a moment to read them. _My habit._ Hinata's cheeks heated up as he stood, rooted in place.

Komaeda let out a soft laugh. The inflection his voice produced was enough to drag Hinata out of his head and get his heart beating again. Komaeda simply shook his head, lips curved up into a small smile. “You're such an idiot,” he murmured.

Hinata smiled in return, placing a hand over his face. “Yeah,” he agreed. “I'm a huge idiot.”

The two chatted casually after that, Hinata settling himself on the desk chair like last time. It was easier now, more relaxed. The relief that had flowed through Hinata was enough to calm his nerves. In a way, he was thankful to Junko for this. Of course he was pissed at her, that much won't change. But if she hadn't have done this, he'd probably still be too nervous and on edge to talk to Komaeda normally again.

After a while, Komaeda fell asleep again. Thankfully, his fever wasn't too bad. Just a simple 100.3. With some rest, Komaeda would be able to come back into class the next day. Hinata had made up his mind, too. He knew what would happen again when Komaeda came back to class. The harmful whispers his classmates let out that always grinded his nerves, but never could he find the courage to stand up and say something. But that was different now. When that time came, Hinata would tell them all off.

As a way of an apology, Hinata finished all of Komaeda's work that he hadn't be able to do thanks to his fever. It was fairly easy. He'd make sure they'd all be A+'s. After that, he left a note by Komaeda's bed saying he was heading back. Tomorrow, he'd give their teacher the work early in the morning. Komaeda would get the papers back during class. Maybe, after wards, Komaeda would even praise him. Hinata doubted it, though. It'd go against Komaeda's abrasive personality. Hinata smiled as he looked at the daunting mansion. _I'll be looking forward to tomorrow. You should too, Komaeda._

...

Just as planned, Hinata got up earlier than usual that morning. Souda complained as the alarm went off, pulling him out of his dreams. He muttered an apology, which Souda promptly waved off before falling back asleep. Hinata rushed through his usual morning activities, not even bothering to brush his hair, before rushing out of the dorms and to the teachers lounge. Thankfully, his teacher _was_ there, asking why Hinata was up that early. Hinata just gave a small laugh, handed the package of Komaeda's finished work to him, and then made his way to his classroom.

The first few classes passed without incident. Komaeda wasn't in any of his morning classes, only the one they had before their study break. With every second that passed by, Hinata began to feel more and more nervous. Each second that ticked by was another moment closer to when he'd see Komaeda again. Hinata had promised himself that he would help Komaeda in any way possible, even if that meant making enemies.

Time passed, as it has a habit of doing. Hinata made sure to make it first to class, so he had time to build up his nerves. (He never did like confrontations.) Slowly, the classroom filled up. Friends greeted each other, fooling around seemingly without a care. And when Komaeda came in, the room was quickly filled with a silent chill.

“Sheesh, he's back _already_? Couldn't he have stayed sick a little longer?”

“Ugh, I can never focus when he's here.”

“Hurry up and die already, you trash.”

Hinata slammed his hands down on his desk, earning the attention of the class as he slowly stood up. He turned his head, glaring at the rest of the room. Distractedly, he noticed Komaeda's expression. A mix of surprise and... worry, probably?

“You know,” he began, his voice surprising him and everyone else. Bold, unafraid. Adrenaline pumped in his veins, blurred his mind. “People who deserve to be put in the garbage is trash like _every one of_ _you_ , who talk about people behind their backs and wish for them to die. You're all lower than _dirt_. It makes me wonder here who the real person that deserves to die is.” The entire class was silent. Hinata tipped his chin up, a smirk winding up on his face, eyes scanning the rest of the room. “Pathetic.”

A couple people stood up, ready to fight back. But before anyone could retaliate, the teacher came in, surprised by the hostile atmosphere the class held. “What _are_ you people doing? Sit down, sit down!” he snapped.

Hinata grinned to himself as he and the others sat in their seats. He cheered internally. _It's my win!_ Hinata snuck a glance at Komaeda, whose face was red. He was probably thinking things like, _What's with that idiot, standing up for me like that? Has he no shame?_ or _What an idiot. Making a big deal out of something so small._ But Hinata didn't care. All that pent up frustration at the class was finally let out, and he could relax. Of course, he was sure a few people probably hated him now, but what was the harm in that?

After the lecture ended, the teacher produced the packet of Komaeda's work from his bag, setting it on his desk. Komaeda stared at it, confused, before the dots connected in his mind. The class had already emptied out, and Hinata was standing by the door, waiting for him. Komaeda looked over the work, shook his head, then stood up and made his way over to Hinata.

“Hinata-kun, crouch down and close your eyes,” were his first words to him. Confused, Hinata closed his eyes and leaned down. Komaeda brought two fingers up to Hinata's forehead, before flicking him. Hinata yelped, backing up and rubbing the spot.

“Wh-what was that for?” Hinata stammered.

Komaeda held the worksheets up, which were marked with A's. “If you didn't notice, you forgot to write my name down. And you know our teacher's verdicts about unlabeled papers,” he stated.

Hinata averted his gaze. “...And what makes you think I did that?” he asked. There were plenty of reasons that directed it to him, of course. He just wanted to know Komaeda's reasoning.

Komaeda heaved a sigh, stashing the papers back into his bag. “Because you're the only ace student in the class who's stupid enough to forget to write down your own name.” Hinata shrugged, looking a bit embarrassed. “Also...” Komaeda began. He turned his gaze to the floor, his cheeks beginning to heat up. “Thank you for... standing up for me.” Hinata blinked down at him, surprised. An overwhelming joy bubbled up inside him, and he laughed, taking Komaeda by surprise. “Wh-why are you laughing?” he yelped, cheeks burning.

“N-no, I-” Hinata gasped for breath, doubled over. “I-I'm just really relieved!” Komaeda stared at him uneasily as his laughter was reduced to giggles. “I thought you would be bothered by it. Me standing up for you, I mean.”

Komaeda frowned at him in confusion. “Why would I be bothered by it? I was...” he trailed off, looking away again. “I was... really flattered... No one's really done that before, so...” Hinata smiled affectionately at him, ruffling his hair. Komaeda glared up at him, faltering when he saw his expression. “Wha-”

“You're my friend, Komaeda,” Hinata said, voice soft. “Of course I'm going to stand up for you. I'm sorry I was too much of a coward to do it until today.”

Komaeda tried to ignore the fact that Hinata's hand was _still_ on his head. His cheeks were heating up again as he avoided his gaze once more. “You don't need to apologize,” he grumbled. “You did what you could, when you could. It probably won't stop them, though. You just dragged yourself into my problem by doing that.”

Hinata chuckled, putting his hands in his pockets. “I don't mind. I've dealt with it before, I can deal with it again.”

Komaeda's frown only deepened. A calm silence passed between them that seemed to last for hours. “Let's go home,” he murmured.

Hinata just smiled. “Yeah. I'll come with you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SCREAMING


	6. Library

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the fastest that this fic has updated.

After class, Hinata flounced out of the classroom with his thoughts in a clutter of ire and worry and stress. He told Komaeda to wait for him at the school gates, that he had some business to take care of. Hinata was still livid about the day before, though he's at least smart enough to know now that he or Komaeda isn't at fault. It's _her_ fault, for lying to him and even having the grits to do so in the first place. It's _her_ fault that she's spoiled everything. He hated confrontation, but this was something he had to do.

Frankly, he pictured Enoshima Junko as a flippant, if easygoing girl. The sort that wouldn't poke her nose into other people's business, merely going about her day, clad in her chic getup and twittering with her clique.

But _no_. Reality had to be cruel and spit his expectations back at him with this pathetic mess. Hinata wasn't a hateful type; he didn't bear long-term grudges or wallowed for his misfortunes or do anything that'd instigate his hatred. But this was different. _Why_ did life had to be like this?

"Hinata-kun!"

_Speak of the devil._

"Oi, oi, Hinata-kun!"

Hinata waited for his anger to settle down. _It's just talking to Enoshima, that's all,_ he tried to imprint into his logical mind. _She's not going to make me run seven blocks and look like an idiot on the street. Keep it cool._

"So how did your talk with little Komaeda-kun go last night, huh?" Enoshima chirped. Hinata huffed; he was getting too fidgety. This wasn't good. "I hope your heart is still in pieces, 'cause it seems that his isn't!” She paused, taking in his figure. “Or not? Hm?"

Hinata sent her a cold, dagger-edged look. Enoshima seemed to take it as bait, so she continued.

"You know, I heard from Souda-kun that you might have a thing for that little freak! That was _so_ easy to figure out, of course. Just hand in a fake number and tell him it's Sonia's, and you'll be getting all the snoop you want from him! It's pretty funny he's a mechanic, won't you agree? That guy is  so useful in _so_ many ways. But y'know what really got my boat afloat? That you guys had a fight last night! Is everything okay with him?"

Hinata kept his words to himself, his emotions masked.

"Hey!" Enoshima pursed her lips into a sour pout. Her rose-polished nails patted his shoulder to call his attention, but Hinata is indifferent. She tipped her head to the side and leaned in close enough to pin her pretty, pretty eyes on his. Hinata scoffed in blatant disgust. "Do you know what a crime it is for a guy to ignore a girl? That'd cost you, like, a girl's feelings! They're like Gucci bags, you know? Delicate and easy to break! You should be more careful with them."

"Why did you lie to me?"

Enoshima gasped without an ounce of sincerity. "Oops! About that, well - you can't help but get the wrong juicy gossip every once in a while, right? Don't worry, Hinata-kun! It's not like it's going to kill Komaeda-kun's little heart. They're just stories! Stories that came from pretty little liars who love to ruin the fun of friendships like yours and Komaeda-kun's. Right, right?" She giggled, resting her hand on his shoulder in a sort of mock assurance.

Hinata felt like chafing his knuckles on blocks or walls until they bled so the pain would wash away his guilt. But he doesn't; he's got himself dragged into something petty but infuriating and now he has to pay his own debt. He brushed off her hand, his blood boiling. "Stop acting so friendly towards me. It's disgusting."

"Oh? What's so wrong with being friendly? Are you really _that_ mad at me, Hinata-kun? I'm heartbroken!" she said dramatically, placing her hand over her heart in mock pain. Hinata's glare sharpened; Junko snickered. "Uwahh! Has anyone ever told you what a super scary expression you have, Hinata-kun? I feel like you're about to rip me to shreds!" Enoshima's grin fell into a smirk; it burned Hinata's veins with rage. "Did you get into fights a lot back in the day or something? You give off that kind of feeling, you know! So terrifying."

At last, he chose to click his tongue and stay quiet. Talking to her was pointless. All she did was poke at him. He wasn't going to let her get to him. Not again. "From now on, stop associating yourself with me. I'm done with you and your games," he told her when he left. He stalked off towards the gate, her voice still echoing behind him.

"You know, Hinata-kun," she called out to him. "You never know whether rumors are true or not. I mean, if they were rumors, there exists a possibility of whether it's true or false, right?"

If this situation were any different, her words might have rang into his ears and triggered him to shout, yell, howl back - but now, her lies have fallen into deafen ears. Hinata is no longer dense. Or, at least he thinks he isn't. He's just so exhausted; all he ever did was develop a stupid crush on a cute, short statured boy with glasses who likes horror and now he gets _this_. Why can't he just be with Komaeda? Why do things have to be so _difficult_?

“Hey idiot, what took you so long?”

The sound of Komaeda's voice immediately calmed Hinata's senses. _That's right_ , he reminded himself. _Life was always a difficult for me. It's something I should be used to by now._ Putting on a smile, Hinata looked up at Komaeda, who was staring at him with a worried expression. “Sorry I took so long,” Hinata apologized, rubbing the back of his head. “Things got a bit out of hand.”

Komaeda narrowed his eyes, inspecting him. “What's wrong with you? You don't seem to be your usual annoying self.”

Hinata waved at him, forcing a laugh out. “It's nothing. I just realized some things, got into an argument.” Komaeda frowned; Hinata took that as a _with who_ and _was it my fault_. “With Enoshima, I mean! Don't worry, I just talked to her about yesterday. But of course, she only pushed my nerves.”

Komaeda closed his eyes - a relieved expression. Was he worried that Hinata was going to get into a fight because of earlier? The thought put butterflies in his stomach, and he tried to stop himself from smiling too much. “Let's go. I have work to do,” Komaeda stated, turning and walking off. Hinata quickly followed after.

The walk to Komaeda's mansion was, as per usual, quiet. Hope's Peak was on the edge of the city. If you went left, you'd end up where the rest of civilization was. If you went right, the sidewalk would eventually cut off and you'd have to walk on the side of the road. There were a few streetlamps that lighted up as the sun set along the road, for the sake of the few cars that drove by. Every now and then you'd seen an old house, either abandoned or with some old lady living in it probably with a bunch of cats.

The last house they passed before it was completely forested was falling apart. The roof looked like it has several missing parts, the windows were shattered, and there was no door. The wood it was built with looked stained, probably from water damage. It was unlike the rest, which were in a far less unkempt condition. Whenever the two passed it, Hinata glanced at it, waiting to see if he saw a flash of light, or a shadowy figure. It looked like the kind of place that could be haunted.

This time, Hinata stopped in front of it, observing it more thoroughly. “Hey,” he called out to Komaeda, who had also stopped ahead of him. “Do you know what's up with this place?”

Komaeda looked at the house, eyebrows knit in concentration. “This place was abandoned a long time ago, before my... parents moved here and had me,” he began. “I'd say it was built around 100 to 200 years ago, judging from how far it is from the city. The last person who lived here was probably an old woman who died alone, with no family to take care of her. I'm supposing her parents, grandparents, or great grandparents bought the house, wishing for it to be passed down for future generations to live in. However, she was probably the last of her bloodline alive. No brothers or sisters. She was also infertile, unable to reproduce. No man wished to marry her for that reason. She was too poor to be able to support a child on her own, so she didn't adopt either. A kind-hearted, but sad woman.”

Hinata stared at Komaeda in awe. He glanced at the house, then back at Komaeda. “How did you... know all of that?” he asked.

Komaeda paused, eyes meeting Hinata's for a split second. “You weren't the only one in interested in this house,” he answered vaguely. “Come on, let's go before the sun sets and it gets dark.” Komaeda began to walk again, Hinata following after.

The words rang in Hinata's head. The way Komaeda said that made it seem like it wasn't himself that had an interested in it beforehand. He guessed maybe his parents were; that'd be the most reasonable explanation. Well, unless Komaeda had had friends when he was a kid that were interested in it. Did Komaeda have friends as a kid? He seemed to be more of the type that would've kept to himself. He said that it was _pleasant_ being alone, but he never said he _liked_ it.

Komaeda was always so secretive. He never talked about himself, and whenever Hinata usually asked about him, he always responded with a vague answer. It was frustrating. Hinata wanted to know, to understand Komaeda better than anyone else. (Though, to be honest, he probably already does.)

“We're here, idiot.” Komaeda's voice snapped Hinata out of his daze, the words bringing a sort of nostalgia to him. Komaeda began to fidget with his jacket strings. “Do... do you want to come in today?”

Hinata's heart jumped into his throat. “Y-yeah! Sure,” he responded, trying not to sound too excited. This was the first time since Hinata started walking him home that Komaeda actually invited him inside. Komaeda gave him a small smile, the one that Hinata adored so much. He turned, unlocking the doors and going inside. Hinata quickly followed after.

The door shut behind him, Komaeda heading towards the kitchen. “I'll make us something to drink. You can do whatever while you wait,” he said, glancing back at Hinata before disappearing into the other room.

Hinata stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, fidgeting with one of the buttons on his jacket. He looked around, racking his brain to try and find something to do. He already checked out the whole first floor when Komaeda was sick. Where was a place he hadn't been before...?  _The library!_ Hinata realized.  _But it was locked the last time I was here... Should I check it out anyway?_ He looked at the staircase, before coming to a decision and making his way up.

The doors seemed to loom over him this time. The lighting from the sun at this time of day made it seem all the more... creepy. Swallowing nervously, Hinata grasped the handle, turning it slowly. To his surprise, it was unlocked. The door creaked open; he was almost worried Komaeda could've heard it from inside the kitchen. Hinata peaked inside, before opening the door all the way an entering.

Inside was, well, the most extravagant library Hinata had ever had the courtesy of laying his eyes on. The room seemed to be larger than it could've possibly been, giving it's location. The bookshelves went to the ceiling, packed with books much thicker than the ones in the school library. The lights were on, meaning that Komaeda had used the place recently.

Looking around in awe, Hinata began to traverse forward. As soon as he stepped between the first two bookshelves, he suddenly felt something snap around his ankle. Letting out a yelp of surprise, he tried to grab something as his body was tugged upwards. Once his bearings came back to him, he realized he was hanging from the ceiling.

 _Wh... Who the hell lays traps in their library?!_ Hinata nearly cried out. He tried to reach up and untie whatever kind of knot might've been tied around his ankle. But after several attempts, he gave up and waited for Komaeda to come and get him.

Vaguely, he heard a sort of ringing come from downstairs. And, soon enough, Komaeda walked into the room, wearing a look of indifference as he stared up at Hinata. “...What are you doing?” he asked after several seconds.

Hinata laughed, waving his arms a bit. “Oh, you know. Nothing much. Just hanging around,” he joked.

Komaeda sighed, putting his hand on over his face in exasperation. “You're such an idiot,” he grumbled, walking past him to get a step stool.

When Komaeda came back with a stool and rose up to unlace the knot trapping Hinata, he reaped what little self control he had to not look so red-faced. It was a petty, petty thing to get worked up about - he was just being let down by his _friend_. For sure, there was absolutely nothing to stress over. It'd just be over with a swoosh and he'd go back downstairs to join Komaeda for tea, chat about things, and go home. The end.

But as soon as Hinata was set free, his denials were very much mistaken. He ended up toppling over Komaeda, their faces inches apart from one another. The impact of falling pitched into his stomach and suddenly the world was static and bleak and motionless. The glow of the sunset highlighted Komaeda's face and the monotonous drone of the thermos downstairs buzzes in his ears. The scent of old notepaper was thick, musty; out of the blue, everything was much clearer and vaguer.

It was like a scene out of any cliché shoujo manga that Hinata totally didn't read what-so-ever. He felt his ears burning as he laid his knuckles on the floor to steady himself. He tried to say something, anything - but nothing came out. He had lost his voice. Distractedly, he wondered if he should just stay like this - transfixed by the shine in Komaeda's ashen eyes and the flush of his cheeks. Nothing else will matter. And then, maybe, he might lean down, close his eyes and-

But Komaeda, being Komaeda, shook him out of his daze and put on his unique scowl, muttering in a displeased tone: "Get off me, you idiot." Hinata immediately backed off, wincing slightly as pain shot through his knee. Hinata rolled up his pants, inspecting the damage. It wasn't that bad, thankfully. It was slightly red from the impact, and was only bleeding a little bit. Komaeda glanced at the wound, letting out a sigh as he stood up. “Stay here. I'll be back with a bandage.”

It only took Komaeda about a minute to come back with a first aid kit. As he put some disinfectant cream on his knee, Hinata came to realize something. “Your parents seem to have been on vacation for a long time,” he stated. “Are they usually gone for half a month every time they take one, or something?”

“Ah, that...” Komaeda murmured, opening a large band aid. “That was a lie. My parents are actually dead.” The information came across casually, but hit Hinata like a tidal wave. His breath caught in his throat, wracking his brain on what to say. “Before you say something stupid like _I'm sorry_ , it's fine. They died about 5 years ago, in an... accident. I've come to terms with it by now.” Komaeda sat back; Hinata rolled his pants back down, muttering a thanks. “I told you, didn't I? I feel like I'm supposed to be alone. Everything is eventually taken away from me; someday you'll leave just like the rest.”

Those words struck a nerve inside Hinata. “I won't leave,” he murmured. Komaeda looked up at him, their eyes meeting. “If there's anything I can promise you, I promise I won't leave you.”

Komaeda's gaze faltered, and he turned his attention to the ground. “You can't... you can't promise something like that-”

“I can!” Hinata interrupted him. In a bold moment, he grabbed Komaeda's hand, bringing it close to him. Komaeda tensed, shrinking away. “I can and I _will_ promise you. I won't just get up and suddenly disappear. I won't grow bored of you or anything like that. I won't suddenly decide I don't like you anymore and leave you alone.” Komaeda stayed silent, his cheeks flushed. Hinata felt Komaeda's fingers intertwine with his, but it was cautious. A weak and timid gesture. Hinata's heart kicked up a few beats.

"Y-you..." Komaeda's voice shorted out, lungfuls of words falling out of his tongue like ashes being swept away. The words Hinata carelessly said could have hidden unkept promises and torn bonds and scornful laughter over broken weeping. Perhaps Hinata was declaring his extreme pity for Komaeda's harrowing, tragic and pathetic life, or he's just exerting his guts to spare Komaeda a minute of thought because he wants to be an _exception_ from everyone else.

But he may be saying this, dignified and stark-eyed, out of faith. That Hinata was confident their friendship would hang on no matter how intense the tides may be - and Hinata Hajime wouldn't let Komaeda Nagito choke on the whispers and rumors.

Komaeda's fingers tightened their hold, if only slightly. He _wanted_ to believe in Hinata. He had proven himself different from everyone else, that he wouldn't judge Komaeda based on the rumors that surrounded him. But there was a wall, a wall that Komaeda was too afraid to tear down, even if Hinata was slowly destroying it for him. "You've done enough... stupid things for today, Hinata-kun. I think you should save all your speeches for another time."

Komaeda's eyes were filmed over with doubt, urging Hinata to stay away, that he doesn't deserve to come down the rabbit-hole with him. Hinata's try to reason with them, grasping Komaeda's hand - bony and little and cold. "It's okay. I could do a bunch of stupid things for a friend. It's not such a big deal for me."

But Komaeda let go. He loosened his hold on Hinata's hand and shifted away, got to his feet and headed for the door. "Our tea must've gone cold by now," he said, just to fill the dry silence. Hinata watched him go, listened to the patter of his footsteps, and felt something hollow reel inside him. He dismissed it, and joined Komaeda downstairs.

The feel of Komaeda's hand in his lingered; it brought a twinge of pain to his heart.

...

"So what'd ya do?"

"I left."

"You left?"

"I left," Hinata repeated like a sin, boring holes into the dim-swallowed ceiling with lidded eyes. "I left. Not for good, I mean."

"So you two just chitchat a bit, a little about eerie stuff and scary stories and schoolwork, then some other complicated stuff. Then ya finished yer tea, thanked him, said goodbye, and you left. Right?"

"Pretty much," Hinata drawled out. "That's just that."

"What a riot."

"I had a long day."

Souda hummed, sipped from his Coke Zero, and grimaced apologetically. "I'm sorry about the Enoshima thingy, man."

Hinata turned away from him. "It isn't your fault."

"I heard she stirred up some trouble."

"False trouble, at least."

"You really don't wanna get on her bad side or good side," Souda said thoughtfully. "She's just... a plain drag in the ass, I guess. No guy can stand her. Hell, I bet even Sonia-san gets some jitters hanging out with her."

"Except for that guy in Class 78 - what was his name? Something that rhymes with coat and eggs."

" _Naegi Makoto_."

"Oh."

Their quiet laughter died out as soon as the clock warned them it was nearly 2:00 am. Souda gulped the remnants of his soda down, tossed it away in the bin and curled into the covers.

"Say what, man," Souda yawned. "Maybe you should let me meet that kid sometime."

"Really?"

"Yeah, sure. Might as well check him out from all yer yakking about how cute he is when he blushes and says yer name. Build a bridge, man." A gesture of his hand. "Get over it."

"I would if he'd be there with me."

Souda's chortle was muted by his yawn and a gauche "goodnight, bro" as he buried his face under the pillow, his snoring rivaling the pitter-patter on the windowsill. Hinata whiled the last hours of dusk in his bed, darting his thoughts around films of blood-rusted girls dragging people in ill-lit corridors and eyeless serial killers ripping lost wanderers in the forest apart until his mind was too foggy and weary from all the imaginary motions. He glanced at the clock - 4:24 am - and disputed with his logical mind of waiting until daylight arrived or sleeping.

But Komaeda came to mind and suddenly, Hinata realized that _he_ had been the origin of his sleepless nights and runny plops of ink on worksheets. The reprimands from their sixth-period teacher about not paying attention, the forgetfulness to write his own name down and looking at _him_ for more than a moment.

The little flinch in his chest is too _little_ to be dismissed.

Hinata sighed. He was over-thinking again. He knows it won't help him in the morning or when he'd see Komaeda again. So, he flickered his lamplight off, drifted off to sleep and noted himself about holiday shopping just before his consciousness faded away.

By the time Hinata had awoken, the sun was no longer there. Snow was painting tiny little circles on his window, and Souda was clad in three layers of scarves, quivering.

_Here comes the storm._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THINGS SURE ARE KICKING UP AREN'T THEY? And as always, if you spot any mistakes, please tell me. Also, if you don't want to or can't comment, or if you want to tell me personally what you think, you could always hit me up on tumblr. My URL is bruhkomaeda.


	7. Komaeda Nagito

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took fuckin forever to write. This entire thing was actually SUPPOSED to Chapter 9, but since the original idea we had for Chapter 7 didn't work out, we decided to just use it here. It still took us forever to write of course, and I'm really happy I have Erika to help me out, or else this chapter would've never been uploaded.

Komaeda hated getting up in the mornings. Nights were a haven to him - in his dreams, he was peaceful, and nothing in the world could bother him. However, during the day, there were also dangers waiting to strike. Gangs, murderers, harassers, bullies, thieves; all varying degrees of a potential threat. Komaeda had always been on his own. That was something that would never change to him.

When he was a kid, the other kids were afraid of his cold demeanor. The teachers never associated with him. Adults and peers alike whispered nasty things about him. He never had anyone he could call a friend. In those days, all he had were his parents. He loved his parents deeply. They were the only people who listened, who cared and loved him. But even _they_ were taken away from him. The stole cold hand of death has always been merciless to others. Why would his parents be any different?

But now, Hinata Hajime had rushed into his life. It was an out of the blue occurrence, and something that he had thought would eventually disappear within a couple of days. The first day in the infirmary left him confused. Even after Komaeda had clearly brushed him off, Hinata didn't leave until he had to go to his next class. And as the weeks passed, Hinata still never left. He always tried to converse with Komaeda, to get to know him better. Sometimes, he'd ramble about things Komaeda didn't particularly care about, but had listened to anyway.

Komaeda slowly felt himself warming up to the other. It was obvious that he wouldn't give up - he was the stubborn type, after all. And when he invited Hinata to his house, it was on a whim. That day was the most fun that Komaeda had had in a long time, even if he had never showed it. After that, Komaeda decided that _maybe_ he would trust Hinata a little more. Calling him by his name was a stepping stone. He'd be lying if he said he didn't like how it rolled off his tongue.

Conversing casually with someone was also something new to Komaeda. He was actually surprised with himself when he was able to talk normally with Hinata on the day he took care of him while he was sick. Perhaps it was the fever doing most of the talking, but even after that, he was able to hold a conversation with him. Along with the new development came an overwhelming fear - Komaeda was getting too close. Words spun around in his head; words that had left a scar on Komaeda's already broken heart.

_You aren't fit for human interaction, you know. You're just like the rest of us; a rose in a sea of daffodils. Bonds will only hurt you. Humans will only tear at your heart. You're better with people like us. Safer. Happier._

Komaeda had, at first, refused to believe  _him_ and left. They had left an impact, though. A never-ending doubt that maybe  _he_ was right. So, when Komaeda had gone back to class, he decided to see if Hinata was like the others. If he'd join in on the whispers. In the back of his mind, he knew that he wouldn't. Hinata was like that. But still, a part of him wished that he would. He wished that Hinata would be like the others, that he would have a reason to push Hinata away. But, to Komaeda's slight dismay  _and_ relief, he was proven wrong. In fact, Hinata had even seemed angry.

It was terrifying.

After that day, Hinata had started acting different around him. More secluded. Nervous, even. Komaeda knew what had happened. Even an idiot could figure it out. The stutters, the blushing, the way he avoided contact with Komaeda. Not to mention how the idiot had decided to give him his work at the end of the day rather than in the infirmary. The signs all pointed to one thing: a crush.

The somewhat popular Hinata Hajime had developed a crush on the infamous Komaeda Nagito.

Ridiculous.

It was ridiculous enough that Komaeda decided that he was to be wrong. He _had_ to be wrong. Because if he was right, then what? Where would that put him? If Hinata suddenly confessed to him, what would he say? Whenever Komaeda brought that situation to mind, he couldn't imagine the events that would transpire afterward. _Did_ he harbor feelings for Hinata? He didn't know for certain. Maybe. Probably.

The questions pegged Komaeda's mind while he lay in bed, trying to sleep. He tried to wish them away, to make them disappear. But he couldn't. He kept worrying. It was unlike him, thinking so much on something so little. On those nights, he got little to no sleep. Since December was rolling in, the temperature in his house dropped significantly at night. Honestly, he really should invest in getting a heater at some point in his life. At least, before he'd die of some illness that took hold of him while he was at his weakest.

With those sleepless nights also came a drop in Komaeda's ability to ward off those sicknesses. In almost no time, he had caught the common cold. During the times he'd lay stuck in bed, either reading to himself or trying to sleep, he'd think on when Hinata had taken care of him.

Sometimes, he'd imagine Hinata staying by his bed, taking his temperature or patting his head. Hinata would tell him to get better in that soft voice of his, tucking him in and maybe even kissing his forehead. And Komaeda would grumble and tell him to go away, but Hinata would stay by his side. Hinata would always stay by his side. After Komaeda snapped out of... that, he'd realize exactly what he was imagining and blame it on the fever. (Secretly, he knew it wasn't _just_ the fever. But he refused to admit that to himself.)

After about two days had passed, and Hinata came rushing in saying that he heard that Komaeda was dying, Komaeda had come to realize something. Hinata was a lot more of an _idiot_ than he expected. No, to simply call him an idiot would be too soft. He was a moron. An imbecile. He just hoped that his folly wouldn't trigger him any trouble. But, of course, when you wish for something _not_ to happen, it happens anyway.

Hinata exploring his library was something Komaeda didn't account for when he invited him in. As a matter of fact, he had completely forgotten to lock it back up the last time he used it. He didn't even know _why_ Hinata decided to explore his house. It's not like it was an abandoned relic, hiding various treasures that people risked their lives to find. Nor was it a mysterious haunted house, riddled with ghosts and demons alike.

When he had found Hinata, hanging from the ceiling from the trap he'd set up, he was... exasperated, to say the least. A bit helpless. Here was this idiot he had grown to know, grown to care for, hanging from his ceiling by a rope. This idiot, who had questioned him sick when he was lying in the infirmary. This idiot, who had questioned his home a mansion when it was obvious it was. This idiot, whom Komaeda had to get a step stool just to let him down.

And then Hinata fell on top of him.

It was unexpected. He didn't even know how it happened. Perhaps he had lost his balance, or maybe Hinata was just _that_ clumsy. Still, every time he'd think back on it, his head would spin a little. It made his heart race. Their faces were so... close. Hinata's eyes were wide with surprise, cheeks dusted with pink. His scent was all Komaeda could breathe in; a mixture of notepaper, cologne and warmth. He felt the world stop. There was only Hinata's breath tickling his cheeks, holding him still. Komaeda's breath hitched as he imagined reaching up and--

Stupid.

The situation, Hinata, and himself; they were all stupid. Completely and utterly ridiculous. Why had he even thought about those things in the first place? He couldn't be bothered; shouldn't be. And so he ruined the moment, ordering Hinata to get off of him, and from then on it was all a bleeding mess. They drank their tea in an awkward silence. And when the time for Hinata to go home came, he said goodbye as if he was actually saying, _I'll come back for you._ Komaeda had nodded like he was going to respond with, _I'll be waiting_.

He thought about it all the time; on morning walks to school, on nights he couldn't sleep, on idle afternoons where he leaned his head on grey and blue walls, curtains open and wind chattering his teacup on his bedside table, eyes lidded into easy sleep, if Hinata would wait for him too. There wasn't any question to him coming back; but what about it? What if they stood at the other end of the tunnel-- would Hinata wait for him?

There are times when Hinata made his head run and wander in circles, and times when he made his face burn with red, and other times Komaeda just wanted to punch Hinata's grin off his face. But most of all, Hinata made him feel like an idiot. And although Komaeda knew that he'd reap what he'd sown in the end, his heart wouldn't listen. He was no longer in denial; each time they tread the sidewalk, wan-washed by the streetlights, telltale glances and brushes of fingertips, they both know there is something more to Hinata's eyes or Komaeda's frown. It felt like they were wired, towed by Hinata's tenacity and Komaeda's denials. There was always something when they were together. He couldn't stop himself from letting it happen, and they both knew it. Something light and home-scented and transient. Like butterflies.

His walls were coming apart at the seams. He hadn't any idea what to do next and it dimmed the blue underneath his eyes. He was probably right.

He was an idiot.

... 

The morning brings the snow closer. The noise of traffic sirens and street vendors are muffled by children forming snow angels and cats mewing, litters of cigarette stubs and broken bottles of alcohol strewn all over alleys and pavements. The scent of burnt filter and newspaper reaches all the way to city sidewalks; the snow this year was getting colder and colder by the minute. Nowadays, it must be really wearying to keep warm. Thankfully, it wasn't something that Komaeda couldn't endure.

Only later, when Komaeda plods through four white-smothered blocks, that he spots Hinata by the school gates and catches his hopeful smile under a streetlight. Was he waiting for him? The notion brought a fluttery feeling in his chest. Komaeda made his way over to him, and they exchanged their morning greetings.

As they trudged through the snow together, Komaeda snuck a glance at his taller classmate. He was humming to himself, smiling as he looked ahead of him. When he caught Komaeda's gaze, he merely smiled as Komaeda flushed and looked away.

Did Komaeda return Hinata's feelings? If asked, he supposed that the answer would be yes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry it's so short, but that's what happens when you get writers block. As always, if you spot any mistakes, please point them out to me! And any feedback is highly appreciated!
> 
> (murakumo) Okay. Again, we apologize if it's short, but HEY. HEY. We got some stuff that you bros might like that's waiting in the later chapters. It's BETA than what you think. *laugh track in the distance* Comments and kudos give us 10000 mana to write more and better, and we'd love to hear out all what you think.


	8. Advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG GUYS AND THAT IT'S KINDA SHORT BUT Y'KNOW WE TRIED

"Komaeda," Hinata began. "Is everything alright?"

A croak of long silence, and eventually, "You don't need to know," surfaced into the snow. Over the distant cityscape hung the sunken sunset, a chaos of rose and amber impaled by monochromatic walls built on top of streets and lanes color-washed by the city lights. Somewhere out there, there could be a place where Komaeda's face didn't have to be smothered by the dark and the snow. Maybe there was.

"But I need to," Hinata insisted. His hand urged for Komaeda's again. "What if... something happened and I didn't know...?"

"It's fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Then why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you keep..." Hinata fumbled for the words. "You keep... doing that."

Komaeda shrugged.

"Look, if there's anything bothering you... you can tell me. I'll listen."

"Nothing is."

"It's okay, you know," Hinata muttered, trembling as his nails dug into the creases of his palms. His lungs ached and wrestled for air, smothering all his words in sputters, cold-blanched anger, and maybe a little pinch of sorrow. "I'm not going to do anything that you don't want me to do. I'm not going to turn my back on you one day and tell you that I'm... I'm not... I'm not-"

Hinata meant to continue and emphasize out everything he said, that no, he's not going to leave him, he's his friend, _Komaeda, you're so much more than that to me_ , but he found nothing else to go on with when Komaeda's hand intertwined with his. Cold, just as Hinata remembered his hand to be. But they fit just right.

"It's alright," Komaeda said. And maybe it was. Maybe Hinata was thinking too much and it'd all go away with Komaeda's stifled _you're such an idiot_ under his laughter. "Nothing is bothering me, Hinata-kun."

Although it sounded wrong in the back of Hinata's head, Komaeda's hand thawed his raged heartbeat and warmth easily crawled all over his skin, his bones. It wouldn't matter if Hinata insisted, after all. Komaeda would keep it hiding anyway. But Hinata would keep chasing after the seconds and pry open the secret stowed under Komaeda's words. Perhaps he'd find an answer in the end.

But as he walked home, nightfall quickly routing children to go home and the beggars to crawl back into their cardboard boxes, the feel of Komaeda's hands lingered. It only made Hinata long for him even more.

...

Souda absolutely despised the cold. Every time winter came around, he always would have to wear at least three layers to feel slightly warm. Hinata, on the other hand, always seemed to be a human heater. In that sense, Souda was a bit jealous of him. He stretched on his mattress, yawning with lids hauled in sleepy bliss. The snow had subdued into tiny spots on their windowsill. Fishing for his phone on the nightstand, he retrieved it with a grunt and groaned at the time - quarter-past 8'o'clock, just minutes before he needed to get his Math homework done. Souda cried a little. Where was his best friend when he needed him?

The dorm room slamming open announced the presence of his roommate coming in. Souda sat up immediately, confused as he watched Hinata plop down on his bed. He waited a minute or two as Hinata just laid there, head buried in his pillow. The silence was getting awkward. Souda cleared his throat, trying to decide on what to say. “So, uh... is there a reason why you barged in here like that, or...?” he asked.

Hinata grumbled, rolling over onto his back. “Komaeda's acting weird,” he muttered, glaring at the ceiling. “It's like he's avoiding me and it's pissing me off.”

Souda hummed, grabbing a magazine out of his bag situated next to his bed. He opened it up to a random page, feigning reading it. “And? Is there anything else to that?”

"Well-" Hinata paused, sitting up and twisting the sheets in his hands. "I mean... It's not like he doesn't talk to me, but he's just keeping a distance from me. Like... like he doesn't stand next to me anymore, and scoots away from me when I get close to him. It didn't seem to be a problem before..."

"Maybe he's just conscious of you?"

"No way, it can't be _that_. He... I only held his hand," Hinata sighed, rubbing a hand through furrowed features in hopeless exasperation. "Why would he be conscious of me being near him?"

"Beats me. I don't know the kid. But whatever it is, I'm pretty sure he ain't doin' it for nothin'. Kid must be dealing with some problems that came up... or something."

Hinata messed his hair up, brooding. "I need to know what he's going through."

"Why?"

" _Why_?" Hinata scoffed. "He doesn't have anybody else to talk to, it's got to be me. I can't just leave him out in the corner and be oblivious to everything."

"Aw, man, there ya go again. Don't be such a sap," Souda chided, setting the magazine down limply on his pillow. "Look, I know you're worried and all, but I'm sure kid's pretty tough. He even doesn't give a crap about whoever talks trash at him - what can't the kid handle?"

"Being alone."

Souda frowned at him. "He's been alone all this time, hasn't he? It never seemed to bother him before," he pointed out.

Hinata opened his mouth to argue on that, but nothing came out. He didn't know how to respond to that. Was Komaeda bothered by being alone? That's something that he never gave a straight answer about. Hinata groaned, flopping back down on the bed. "But he has me now. He's... he's not alone anymore."

"Yes, yes, I know. You and your hero complex, geez," Souda complained.

Hinata sat up and glared at him. "It's not a hero complex! I just..." He looked down, eyebrows furrowed as a pain rose in his chest. "I just... want to be there for him when he's in a pinch. I want to protect him. I want to shoulder all his troubles, to help him. I just really, really like him so much... I..."

Something wasn't very right in Hinata's voice when it trailed off, dissipated into a groan that frightened the quiet afternoon. Hinata's face was a makeup of adolescent misery, about ruined first dates and unanswered love letters. But it's like it's more than just that; a little more than just going off unnoticed by a little crush. He's being pushed away by a friend. His friend.

Yet, Souda waved it off with a snort and interrupted his woeful monologue. "Jesus Christ, man. Get over it. It's not like he's a prince stuck in a sky-high tower with a dragon warden."

Hinata's parched lips coiled into a wretched smile. "I'll be the knight to save him."

Souda flung a pillow at his face and begged for him to knock it off. Hinata stopped, aware, and helped Souda with his homework. They didn't discuss Komaeda again that night, but Hinata floated into the invisible walls of sleep from thinking how it'd feel like to hold Komaeda in the dead of winter, all curling toes and sunken chins on shoulders and warm-shedding kisses.

...

Souda grumbled as he trudged down the snow-covered sidewalk. What was Hinata thinking, asking him to go out and buy him something at 10 at night? Doesn't he know how dangerous it is? What if he got mugged, or got caught up in some kind of gang fight? And then he'd have to go to the hospital, with a gun wound, and they'd have to perform surgery on him in order to get the bullet out. And there'd be blood everywhere, and it'd hurt like shit, and-

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a short figure on a swing set. Souda recognized him right away, of course. It was the creepy kid that Hinata always went on about, the one with the bad rumors surrounding him.

Souda shivered, from the cold and in fear. Maybe he should just forget that he ever saw him and move on. The kid was creepy, _way_ too creepy for his liking. Not to mention it was nearly 11 pm, snowing, and Souda was freezing his ass off.

Though his face was obscured by the snow, Souda could make out the subtle incline of his mouth. He was... frowning, as usual, but not /so/ usual. He looked different. The kid looked... sad. Lonely. Like he got left behind. Souda grimaced - if Hinata were here, he'd go right up to him and bother him until the kid spilled what was wrong. So, against his better judgment, he made his way into the deserted playground and over to Komaeda Nagito.

Putting on his best smile, though it looked more like a grin, Souda stood in front of the other. "Hey, kid."

Komaeda jumped a bit, startled by the sudden noise. He looked up at Souda, and frowned. There was a flash of disappointment in his features. "I'm not a kid."

"Sure you are. You're pretty short for a high school student."

"Is that so? You seem to be too stupid to be one."

They stared at each other. Souda tensed.

"Hey, hey, I ain't askin' for trouble. You got me there. That's a nice one."

Komaeda spared him a moment's glance, and went back to staring at the ground. "Go away."

"You've got a pretty nice tongue, you know."

Komaeda glowered at him and raised a brow. Souda raised his hands in guilty defense.

"I totally didn't mean to put it that way. I'm sorry."

Komaeda narrowed his eyes.

"Take it easy, man. I'm not doin' anything you don't want me to do. I swear. Let's just relax, yeah?"

A wind of long silence, and "Fine," eventually emerged from Komaeda's ire-laced face. The air between them stilled, breaking off the unease.

Souda lowered his hands warily. "I take you know me from somewhere."

"You're Hinata-kun's friend."

"That's right!" Souda grinned, a proud expression settling upon him. "Soul friend, actually."

Komaeda furrowed a brow.

"It means we're close," Souda sighed. "Real, super close."

"So,” Komaeda began, looking back at the ground. “What does Hinata-kun's 'soul friend' want from me?"

"Well," Souda said, settling on a vacant swing after brushing the settled snow off. "You looked a lil' down, y'know, so I figured I'd talk to you. What'd you do if you saw a creepy kid alone in the snow?"

"Leave them alone," Komaeda answered, feet skimming over a glob of white. "And pretend you didn't see them." Souda grimaced. _Man_ , was this kid hard to talk to. He just couldn't see what Hinata saw in him. Then again, Hinata's taste in things were always strange.

"Nice try. But what if it was 11pm, and nobody ain't around except the creepy kid? Then what? Wouldn't you get a notion of some sort?" Komaeda opened his mouth to reply, but Souda cut him off. "You know what? It doesn't matter. So... whatever's got you thinkin'... just spit it out."

Komaeda's grip on the chain's holding up the swing tightened. He kept his gaze on the snowy ground, silent. Souda glanced at him every few seconds, waiting for him to say something. Did this kid really not trust people that much? He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling slightly awkward. Just as Souda decided he should probably leave, Komaeda spoke up.

“I... realized something... a few days ago,” he murmured. Souda hummed, encouraging him to continue. “For a while, actually, I knew. But I didn't want to admit it to myself. That I... like... Hinata-kun... more than a friend...” Souda nearly went into a coughing fit. “It's my first time actually... liking someone, so... I don't know how to act... And I know Hinata-kun likes me back, but...”

“Well, isn't that all good then?” Souda asked. “You like each other, and that's all that matters, right?”

Komaeda shook his head, eyebrows furrowing as he stared at the ground. “No. It's not that simple.”

“Huh? How so?”

“I...” He looked back at the ground. “Hinata-kun, he... deserves better than me. I'm not good for him.” His grip on the chain tightened again. “He shouldn't be with me.”

Souda scoffed. “Isn't that up for him to decide?” he asked. Komaeda tensed. “You're killing him, y'know. Being distant like that. He doesn't know what happened, or if he did something wrong. It's driving him nuts, and in return, it's driving _me_ nuts.”

Komaeda trembled slightly. “But... but I don't know if I can-”

“Look,” Souda interrupted. “My bro talks about you _all the time_. I'll admit, it gets annoying at times. But he always looks _really_ happy when he does it. Before you came along? All he did was hang out with me, do homework, hang out with other friends, do homework, watch movies, do homework, play some video games, etcetera. And I can tell he was lonely, y'know? He didn't really have anyone to connect to. Everyone he knows isn't into the things he's into. He has a weird taste in things, as I'm sure you've noticed.”

Komaeda nodded, a tiny, fond smile pulling up his lips. “Yeah. I know.”

“My point here is, you make him happy. And you two being together? It'll make him even happier, and I'm willing to bet it'll make you happy too. So I say go for it. 'Cuz, really, what have you got to lose?” Souda finished with a grin.

Komaeda let out a sigh, swinging back and forth slightly. “You have a point, I guess,” he muttered.

“Of course I do! I'm not stupid,” Souda exclaimed. Komaeda looked like he was willing to refute that, but decided not to.

The two sat in silence for a few moments, the creaking of the swing set the only sound filling the air. It wasn't awkward like before. Komaeda seemed to be deep in thought, staring up at the snowflakes falling around them.

"He's a big idiot, you know," Souda commented. “Hinata is, I mean.”

Komaeda's lips tugged up a little. "Yeah," he agreed. "He is. A big, dense moron."

"It once took him five minutes to stare at a CD he accidentally cracked until he realized it broke."

Komaeda let out a puff of laughter; a rare occurrence that Souda mourned for Hinata's absence. "What's with that... idiot..."

The two stayed in mutual silence, Komaeda staring at the clouded sky, and Souda observing Komaeda. "Take care of him, alright?"

Somehow, Komaeda looked amused and a little saddened by his request. His indrawn smile lifted up to his eyes as he turned his attention back to the ground. "An idiot like him won't find that necessary."

... 

“What _took_ you so long, Souda?” Hinata whined, rolling on his bed. “It's like 11:30 now!”

Souda tossed the bag of store bought items onto Hinata's bed. He grinned, remembering how Komaeda had asked to keep their conversation a secret. “I saw a cat that needed help, is all. It was stuck up in a tree, so I decided to lend a hand.”

Hinata frowned, fishing into the bag for his chips. “Is that so? Was it hurt at all?” he asked, pulling it open.

“Nah. Just seemed to need some help getting down,” Souda answered, flopping down onto his bed and settling under his covers. “G'night, Hinata!”

“Yeah, 'night,” Hinata replied. Later, when Hinata got up to turn their lights off, he realized Souda had to have been lying. There was no way he would've been able to help a cat get down out of a tree.

Because Souda was allergic to cats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha hoyl shi t
> 
> [EDIT; 1/1/15]: The remnants of this chapter was lost for some reason. It will be retrieved as fast as possible, so we apologize for any inconvenience caused whatsoever.  
> [EDIT; 6/2/15]: Chapter has been fixed. Please notify us if this ever happens again.


	9. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS DIDN'T TAKE AS LONG AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD

Hinata didn't understand. In the time he's known Souda, he's lied to him in a grand total of three times. He was never a great liar, of course, so Hinata knew right away he was lying. And generally, they were for a good reason. But this time, Hinata had no idea at why Souda would lie to him. Did something big happen? Did he run into one of his old friends from way back when he got into fights a lot? He didn't know, but it worried his nerves down into sporadic dots.

The possibility of Enoshima's involvement was likely, too. As much as Hinata didn't want to hold any grudges against the girl, she was a threat to anyone's affairs. The thought curdled Hinata's guts. Not again, he thought. Hinata already made it very clear to the girl that he didn't want to associate himself with her anymore, but he supposed she was that interested.

Hinata sighed. And there was also the possibility of him over-thinking. Maybe it was just something insignificant. Did Souda help an old lady cross the pedestrian walkway and was too embarrassed to admit it? That was unlikely, but it was still to be considered. Or was it Sonia he encountered? No, Souda would definitely tell him if it was that. Their friendship was too solid for him not to mention Sonia.

With a groan of frustration, he plopped back onto his bed, covering his eyes with his arm. He was definitely just over-thinking things. After , if it was Souda lying, there must be a good reason behind it. Souda wouldn't lie for the sake of lying. He wasn't like Junko. So, Hinata believed him. They were friends, after .

Hinata sighed. He really should stop jumping into conclusions.

Slumping against the pillow, Hinata turned over to face the walls. What was he going to do, now?

He fluttered his eyes open. It was dim, and he could only make out the lines and edges of the window's silhouette, but it must be close to daylight already. He probably wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon. So he broods.

Although a crush would sound like the most trifle problem anybody could have, it was different between them. It wasn't just a crush; that would be belittling Hinata's feelings. When he saw Komaeda it ached Hinata's throat and it rifted a shipwreck between his ribs when he smiled. And it hurt in the most wonderful way, like butterflies in his guts, when he heard him laugh. And as far as Hinata knew crushes were just people being shy around each other and blushing. There wasn't any spark.

But things have changed. Komaeda didn't smile, nor did he laugh. It was as if Komaeda's heart was stolen away. The thought made him furious. Who would've stolen Komaeda's heart? And were _they_ the reason why Komaeda seemed so distant to him? It was too soon to jump to conclusions, though. Komaeda liking somebody wasn't that unlikely, but...

Hinata just didn't know anymore what to do anymore. Were his feelings for Komaeda still just a crush? Did he perhaps care for him too much, like a brother? Or was he in―

The beep of an alarm clock tugged Hinata back to his senses. The last footfalls of moonlight crush under the sun's tramp and sunk under the sunrise. It was morning already. Well, there went his chance to sleep. Thankfully, it was a weekend, so they didn't have any classes. Hinata looked out the window, the snow falling down at a steady pace as it covered the campus in a white blanket. Letting out a sigh as he sat up, he wondered if he should take a walk.

...

By the time Hinata returned, Souda was up and tearing apart the room. The desk chair had fallen back, clothes were scattered across the room, along with Souda's text books and work papers. As soon as Souda noticed Hinata's presence, he ran over and clung to him.

"Hey- get off me!" Hinata yelped out, wringing out of Souda's clutch. "What the hell's going on?"

"I lost it," Souda sniffled.

"Lost what?"

"My present."

" _What?_ "

"My _present!_ " Souda darted back to a corner, kicking a muddle of notes on the floor. "That cost me half of my allowance, man. And it was the last one in stock, too. Now it's just gone! Like, _gone!_ "

Stifling an exasperated sigh, Hinata bent over and racked the papers up again. Aligning them in fixed edges and thumbing off the little crinkles and folds, he placed them on their desk for the and used a nearby DVD case as a paperweight. He sat down on the floor, right next to where Souda was lamenting.

“So? Do you have any idea where it could be?” Hinata offered.

“None at ,” Souda huffed, sitting down on his bed. He held his head, grimacing. “It was Sonia-san's present, too...” He faked a sob, falling onto his back. “What am I gonna _do_ , Hinata?”

Hinata sighed. “You could just go out and buy another.”

“I told you, it was the last one!” Souda cried, pulling on his hat in frustration. “And I was fairly confident she would like this one, too!”

Hinata snorted, nudging his shoulder. "Oh, come on. I'm sure they've got another stock at the store.”

“It's the holidays, man. Stuff always runs out by the first week.”

“Liar. They always resupply a day or two after they've sold out."

Souda whined, burying his face in his hands. "I just don't know, man! What'll I do if they don't?"

Hinata rolled his eyes. “Buy a different gift.”

Souda huffed. “No.”

“Stubborn.”

“Well, what do you suggest?"

“We _could_ go into the mall and get another? Yknow, like I've been saying?”

“Fine, fine. You win,” Souda grumbled, jumping out of his bed to get dressed for the cold weather.

"Good.” Hinata grinned. “I need to buy Komaeda a gift anyway."

Souda glanced at him. “You mean you haven't yet? Dude, what have you been _doing_?”

Hinata sent him a glare. “I've been busy with school work. Winter break's in like a week or so, and I don't want to have any homework to keep me from hanging out with Komaeda.”

A roll of eyes. “Geez, you and Komaeda, man. Why don't you just confess already?” Souda grumbled.

Hinata's face burst into a bright red. “I-I can't just do that!” he yelped. He looked down, fiddling with his jacket sleeve. “I-I-I mean― what if I did and he didn't like me back? O-or what if I confess to him and he just laughs at me? Or―”

Souda tried to tune Hinata out as he rambled on for the next ten minutes while he got ready to go.

...

Being streetwise, they opted for the alleyway route, so as to evade the crowded road. The noise of traffic sirens and street vendors was muffled by children playing and prowling cats' mews. Litters of cigarette stubs and broken bottles of alcohol were strewn over the corners. Nothing was special or memorable about alleyways, but years of treading through the crooks and sleeve-tugging beggars and low-priced shops have won their sentiment.

The monochromatic architecture of the city was hazed over with white plops of snow, ghosting along the air and streets like petals, once they reach three blocks. Souda was crooning a hackneyed English pop song or whatever that Hinata didn't really understand.

Hinata was on the verge of telling Souda to shut up or joining along with him when the mechanic whistled. He nudged at him with knowing eyes, and Hinata suspected he'd seen the pigtailed dancer with an irritating pout that constantly called Hinata a loser on the street, but when his eyes spotted a bespectacled boy with a black hood over his head, Hinata's voice caught in his throat.

"Hey! Creepy kid with the black hood!" Souda called out. Hinata's eyes screamed in terror when the figure turned, and it clicked into his mind that it _was_ Komaeda. "Somebody wants to talk to ya!"

Although the streetlights were too dim, and the snow was cloaking passerby's faces in filmy grey, Hinata could still identify Komaeda's countenance hinted with tension through crumpled lids. His fingernails dug onto his wrists as ashen grey eyes met his.

"Hinata-kun? And..." He blinked in thought. "...Souda-kun… What are you doing here?"

Hinata paused. _How did Komaeda know Souda?_ As soon as the thought crossed his mind, he shook it away. Hinata probably told Komaeda about Souda at some point. Or maybe they had a class together. Yeah, that would make sense. _Just shut up Hinata, you're being paranoid and over thinking things._

"Oh, we're just headin' for the mall, y'know?" Souda chimed in. "Hinata's planning to give a little special gift to a special someone, actually. Riiiight, my man?"

Hinata snapped out of his thoughts. He shot a glare at Souda. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah, sure you don't!" Souda's grin abandoned into a snicker. He broke out into a grin as an idea took form in his head. "Y'know what? You should hang with us for today! This is just plain old crap, y'know what I mean?"

Komaeda eyed him warily. "I... don't think that's a good idea."

"It's okay with us!" He elbowed Hinata with a grin, who cuffed him with a dark look. "In fact, Hinata would _love_ for you to come along!"

Hinata's face turned red, and he tried to hold back the urge to push Souda to the ground and leave him in the snow. “I-I wouldn't... I mean I...” he stammered, caught in between denying and agreeing with Souda's logic. Man, the way Souda was trying - and unsuccessfully - hold back his laughter was really grinding his nerves. “It'd be great if you came with us! You know what they say, the more the merrier.”

Komaeda looked at the snowy pavement, considering. “I... guess I wouldn't mind tagging along,” he murmured.

Souda's grin widened, throwing his arm around Hinata's shoulder. “Great! Then, that's settled!” he laughed.

As the three made their way to the mall, and through various shops, Hinata kept a close eye on Souda and Komaeda. It was strange. The first thing that was weird was that Komaeda actually acknowledged Souda's presence. Hinata thought that, if anything, Komaeda would ignore attempts that Souda tried to start a conversation with him. And yet, here they were, talking as if they were friends.

_When had they gotten that close?_

A fire of jealousy began to burn within him. This didn't make any sense. _What happened between them? How did they become friends? When did they get close? Did something happen without my knowledge?_ A realization dawned on him. _That_ must've been why Souda lied about him about the cat! He must've met up with Komaeda in secret!

What did they do? Was this some kind of secret relationship? Is _that_ why Komaeda was acting so distant to him? Hinata's heart began to ache. _Did... Did Komaeda like Souda?_ The thought hit him like a ton of bricks. That would explain everything. The distance, the lie, how they were so friendly...

Then, the ache turned into a burning rage. How could Souda do this to him? He _knew_ that Hinata was in love with Komaeda! How _could_ -

“Hinata-kun?” Komaeda's voiced snapped Hinata out from his overwhelming thoughts. He blinked a couple of times, trying to calm his emotions down. “You haven't been your usual annoying self. Are you alright?”

The words immediately had a calming effect on him. Hinata let out a small smile. He shouldn't worry Komaeda. “Yeah. I'm fine. Just... thinking,” he said. Komaeda eyed him disbelievingly. Hinata knew that Komaeda could probably tell he was hiding something. But Komaeda didn't need to know about his paranoia and jealously over Komaeda and Souda's sudden relationship. Instead, he turned to look at Souda. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”

Souda blinked, but got the urgency. “Yeah, sure man. I don't mind,” he agreed, a bit confused. The two walked over to the corner of the store they were in, leaving Komaeda to browse the various items they had.

As soon as they were far enough away, Hinata glared daggers into Souda. Souda recoiled back in fear. “What was that about?” he growled.

“W-what was what about?” Souda whimpered.

“You― _you_ and Komaeda! What happened between you? Why are you so close? How could you do this to me, man, you _know_ I like him-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa there dude!” Souda yelped, holding up his hands. “There is absolutely _nothing_ going on between me and that kid! We're acquaintances at best, bro! Calm down!” Hinata huffed, trying to get a hold on emotions again. “Komaeda asked me for some advice a couple days ago, when I went out that time.” Souda grimaced. “I'm sorry that I lied about the cat.”

Hinata frowned. “He asked you for advice? About what?” he grumbled.

“Sorry, dude, I can't say.” Souda glanced back over at Komaeda, then looked back at Hinata with a grin. “But you ain't got nothin' to worry about. No one's gonna steal Komaeda from you.”

Hinata blushed, nodding once. The two stood in an awkward silence as Hinata fell more and more like a complete and utter asshole. Komaeda was right, he really was an idiot. “Sorry, Souda,” he finally apologized. “I just...”

Souda waved it off. “It's fine, dude. I understand,” he said, patting Hinata on the shoulder. “I won't lie to you again, I promise.”

“We cool, then?”

“We cool.”

High five.

“I'm gonna go buy Komaeda a gift. I'll meet up with you guys in ten minutes,” Hinata said, putting his hands in his pockets.

“You sure about that, man? Komaeda and I will be alone. Who knows what could happen,” Souda teased.

Hinata just laughed. “I'm gonna trust you not to do anything. Because I'll seriously hurt you if you do.”

Souda grimaced. “I don't doubt it.”

“Meet you at the fountain in the middle?”

“Sure.”

...

After Hinata and them bought their presents, the three decided to hang out the rest of the day. Their snow-flecked afternoon was spent with a trip to the arcade and lunch in a well-spoken ramen shop downtown. Halfway through on the way home, they encountered a miniature flower shop. A honey-eyed girl, close to her twenties, saluted them with a bouquet of garden-fresh roses and chattered about a holiday discount of 20%.

When Hinata asked the florist something only she probably heard, Souda and Komaeda exchanged murky, brow-furrowed glances. This was a first - honor student, laid-back Hinata Hajime buying _flowers_. The girl looked entranced by the idea of a high-school student as her customer, humming while she sifted through tulips and sunflowers and wisterias doused in dew.

The girl returned with a posy of tearful white lilies. Hinata handed her a pocketful of coins, casting a clumsy smile as he collected the lilies from her. She bowed in an endearing fashion and bid them a Merry Christmas, waving brightly as they left.

"Here," Hinata said casually, handing Komaeda the lilies, who looked as if he's been given a time bomb. "They're for you."

"Huh?" Komaeda inspected the lilies in scrutiny and scowled at Hinata, confused. "For _me_? What for? Why?"

"Well, we were passing by when I saw them, and I thought they kind of resemble your hair so," he said, putting his hands in pockets, cheeks dusted with pink. "I thought they'd go along with you nicely... I guess?"

Komaeda flushed as he glanced up at Hinata. “....Thank you.”

Hinata smiled at him. “There's no need to thank me.”

“Oi, you two, stop flirting already! It's cold and I wanna go home!” Souda complained, arms wrapped around himself. The two blushed even further, Hinata yelling at Souda to shut up.

As they continued to trek back to their dorms, Komaeda decided that when he got home he'd put the lilies next to his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was there another of Souda's present in stock? I guess we'll never know. Maybe. And do they even sell flowers in the winter?? Fuck if I know.


	10. Anxiety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took the chapter down to edit it some because Erika put it up without talking to me first. I probably over reacted, but whatever. I don't care.

There was only a week left before winter break began. Hinata tried to spend every moment he could with Komaeda. Since their little shopping trip, the trio had hung out a little more on occasion, but Hinata always made sure to set aside times for just him and Komaeda. As the days dwindled down, Hinata would look back on only a month ago, when the two first met. They had gotten much closer than he expected. (Then again, he didn't think he would _fall in love_ with Komaeda, either.)

Hinata wished he could spend the break with Komaeda. He tried to bring up the subject several times, but the words always caught in his throat. What if Komaeda rejected the idea? It was a silly notion to think of, but with Hinata's overactive mind, he couldn't help but worry about it.

There was always a possibility. A fear. And it kept holding him back.

But Hinata took an oath to himself, that evening, that he would take Komaeda Nagito out and into the world on winter break. He would make sure to do everything in order to keep it — no matter what.

...

The following day after school, Hinata took Komaeda to a bridge to "show him something cool." Komaeda had given him a look— _what do you need to even show me I've lived here longer than you have I've probably already seen whatever stupid thing you found_ — but Hinata just smiled, took his hand, and walked with him in the opposite direction of his home.

It was still light out, and the sun seemed like it would set soon. The two leaned against the railing in silence, watching the water flow beneath them. Komaeda snuck a glance at Hinata, who still had that idiotic smile on his face.

"How've you been?"

The sudden question took Komaeda by surprise, and he quickly looked away, face flushing. "Fine," he muttered. There was a long pause before he resignedly sighed. "I think you should ask yourself that first."

"Eh?" Hinata glanced at him. "Why?"

Komaeda scoffed, stopping briefly to glare right into Hinata's eyes. Hinata shrunk a little. Though he found Komaeda undeniably cute, there was always a frightening edge in his facade that made him a bit... intimidating. "You... keep acting like more of an idiot than you usually are."

His tone caught Hinata off-guard. Was that... disappointment he heard? "What gave you that idea?"

"W-Well," Komaeda began, fidgeting with the hem of his sleeve. "You... You usually don't ask me how I feel. You just... talk with me. About this and that. It's like... you're not Hinata-kun."

Hinata hummed in confusion. "Well, I'm still me. Isn't that what matters?"

Komaeda's eyes fell. "You are, but... you're not how I like Hinata-kun."

Hinata blinked, his face flushing. Was Komaeda really saying all of this? "How... do you like me?"

Komaeda's face slanted a little, eyes still downcast. "I miss you being the idiot I know."

They're quiet for a while. The sun had already set, golden-chaff clouds shrouding the horizon like fumes. The water under their feet was sunburned, creating tiny ripples that wrinkled their reflections on the water. It was dim and bright and beautiful, and it lit Komaeda's face up.

"I miss you being yourself too," Hinata finally said. Komaeda didn't look at him. "You and I used to be a lot... closer. You even called me idiot all the time." Hinata laughed. "But now... I'm just... Hinata-kun."

"You still are," Komaeda murmured. "You'll always be an idiot to me."

A short intake of breath drawled Hinata's next words. "I really miss you."

"Me too," Komaeda said, and the world spun on around them. They were alone. "But I'm still here with you."

It was comfortable. Serene. Seconds turned into minutes, and the sun was finally beginning to sink over the horizon. The two watched, a mirage of purples and blues and hues of red and pinks painted the canvas called the sky. The river beneath them gleamed with the light of the sun, reflecting the colors brought on by the sunset.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Hinata asked, his voice but a whisper. And all at once, Komaeda realized this was what Hinata wanted to show him. A beautiful sunset. Komaeda's heart ached with the sudden rush of emotions that coursed through his veins. He reached for Hinata's hand, the small grip prompting Hinata to look at him. "Is something the matter?" A nervous tone, cautious.

Komaeda looked up at him, cheeks slightly flushed, a small smile resting on his lips. "Thank you, Hinata-kun," he murmured. "For everything."

Hinata's breath seemed to be stolen away. He didn't know— couldn't figure out what to say. He opened his mouth, only to close it, cheeks heating up. "Th-there's no need to thank me..." was his eventual soft reply. They stayed in another silence, staring at each other. And slowly, little by little, their distances began to shift, and their shoulders were touching. Without another thought, Hinata leaned down, Komaeda closed his eyes, and—

"Hinata-san! Komaeda-san!"

The two immediately jumped away from each other, their cheeks on fire. Hinata felt like his heart was about to burst. What was that? What was that just now? Did they almost just...?

"Sonia-san? Gundam-kun? What are you two doing here?" Komaeda's voice brought Hinata back to reality. He blinked, turning towards the two that decided to join them. Did they see that Komaeda and him almost...?

Sonia was looking away awkwardly, while Gundam was acting indifferent.

 _Yep_ , Hinata decided, a mixture of dread and embarrassment pooling heavy in his stomach. _They totally saw_.

"Tanaka-san and I... came here to talk to you both respectively," Sonia said slowly, timidly holding Gundam's hand. "He came here for Komaeda-san, and I came here for you."

"Huh? What is it?" Hinata asked, trying to push the emotions from mere seconds ago to the back of his mind.

"Um," Sonia began. "I came here to talk about the... incident with Enoshima-san a few weeks ago."

Hinata's expression darkened. "I believe that's already... passed."

"Oh, no, no! I would just like to apologize on Enoshima-san's behalf," she said. "She can be too... interested with other people's businesses sometimes, but I'm sure Enoshima-san doesn't mean to harm anyone in any way! So... please forgive her."

Hinata paused, his expression set into a bitter scowl. "She... doesn't need to be forgiven. All that she said were just lies, after all."

Sonia frowned. "Is... that so? Well, then... thank you very much for listening, Hinata-san. I'll make sure she won't cause any trouble— at least, to you and Komaeda-san, from here on."

"Forgive me for interrupting your little discussion, but may I speak with the little one?" Gundam spoke up. Hinata bit his lip at the name, trying not to laugh. His efforts were visibly tense, and Komaeda glared at him, prompting him to stop.

"Of course," Komaeda muttered. "Shall we?"

Gundam ushered him to the end of the bridge, out of earshot of Sonia and Hinata. “They certainly have their charms, don't they?" she said. Hinata glanced at her, then back at Komaeda. "Komaeda-san is very cute, and his short stature is endearing." She giggled. "Though his personality can be a bit on the rough side."

Hinata smiled softly. "Yeah. I know.”

"Tanaka-san told me he's known Komaeda-san since he was... littler." Sonia suppressed a chuckle. "He said something about being in the same... kind as him, if I'm not mistaken. Though I’m not very sure what he meant…”

"Ah... I see..." Hinata mumbled, observing the two talking. They looked like they were discussing something pretty serious. Komaeda, in particular, seemed to look uncomfortable. Tense. Hinata felt... weird. Like he had a feeling something bad was going to happen. A sense of dread. A fear.

"I'm sure Tanaka-san cares about Komaeda-san too!" Sonia suddenly said, surprising Hinata. She was looking at him like she was... worried.

Hinata gave her a small smile. "I'm fine. As long as Komaeda's okay, I'm... happy..."

Sonia returned him a knowing smile. One that said _I know how it feels_. “I’m sure Komaeda-san cares about you too, Hinata-san," she murmured, patting Hinata's shoulder a bit.

Hinata looked back at Komaeda and Gundam. "Thanks, Sonia. It means a lot to me.”

...

The two eventually made their way back over to Hinata and Sonia. Komaeda still looked... tense. His eyes were melancholic, and he was chewing on his lip. He was fidgeting with his sleeve, too. Hinata looked at him with worry in his eyes. "Let's go, Hinata-kun," he grumbled, taking Hinata's hand and leading them away before Sonia or Gundam could even say good-bye.

They walked in a heavy silence. Hinata could tell Komaeda was in a bad mood; he hadn't even let go of his hand yet. They just kept walking, step after step. "Are you alright, Komaeda?" Hinata finally asked when they got past the school gates.

Komaeda stopped for a split second. "I'm fine." Short and abrupt, venomous.

Hinata didn't say anything after that, and they continued to walk towards Komaeda's home in silence. Komaeda's goodbye was hollow as he slammed the door.

...

_"He wishes your return,” Gundam said. His mismatched eyes did not blink at every word he spoke. Solemn as always. “I think… it'd be wise if you do as he says."_

_Komaeda scowled. Distantly, he knew that Gundam was right, but... "You already know I'm not one of his… puppets, Gundam-kun."_

_"Are you just going to ignore him, then?” Gundam’s tone lowered down; urgent. “What of your attachments? Do you not want to protect what is important and dear to you?"_

_"You're wrong! It's.... It's not like that…!”_

_"Then what? What if he grips a hold of your weakness? What if he threatens you? Do you still choose to ignore his demands, little one?"_

_"I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. I’m not…” Komaeda’s words were bitter. “I’m never going back to him..."_

_Silence. "If that is what you deem as the correct answer, then I will not stop you from your choices. But you must tread carefully. You never know what he may be up to.”_

_"I know that, Gundam-kun... I know..."_

Komaeda knew, and so he decided. He'd throw away his weaknesses. He wouldn't hesitate anymore. He was done with playing hide and seek.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> College summer classes start for me today, and Erika's school starts. So this'll probably be on a semi-hiatus.


	11. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S BEEN OVER A MONTH, BUT THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT. Erika and I have been trying reALLY REALLy hard to meet a 5000 word quota for this chapter, but unfortunately, we missed it by a milestone. SO!! I apologize for the long wait, and if it seems too short. We gave it our all.

The snow had been falling endlessly the next morning. Hinata was too fidgety about yesterday to sleep last night, so he read a book until 4:00 a.m. The sleep he didn’t get kicked back at him when he woke up, and the light hurt his eyes. By the time he reached the school gates, though, he felt a little more awake.

Hinata felt his heart pounding as he rocked back and forth in his heels, fidgeting with his jacket sleeve. The snow that fell around the campus left blankets of white, gleaming in the sunlight that was filtering through gray clouds. Today, he was extremely nervous to see Komaeda. He'd been constantly thinking about what had happened the day before. He can't believe they almost kissed. It seemed like a dream, actually. Every now and then he'd just remember it, and his heart would start hammering in his chest.

 _Calm down, Hajime,_ he told himself, hiding his face with his hand as he took a couple of deep breaths.. _You'll be fine. Just act normal, and not like some lovestruck idiot._ Despite his efforts, however, his heartbeat started racing frantically when he saw Komaeda walking down the sidewalk. He was certain that his face was as red as a pomegranate, but he couldn't help it. When he saw Komaeda, the memory from yesterday was clear in his mind.

He racked his mind for what he should say first. Should he greet him normally? That seemed like the best option. “G-Good morning, Komaeda!” Hinata stammered as Komaeda came up to him.

But Komaeda brushed by him, not even sparing Hinata a glance. Hinata's eyes widened as he turned around, watching Komaeda walk away from him. His chest suddenly felt heavy, his mouth dry.

 _Did... did he not hear me?_ was the first thought to run through Hinata's mind. A sense of dread filled his heart. There was no way.

“Komaeda?” he called out to him, louder this time. Komaeda still didn't turn around. He didn't even acknowledge Hinata's presence at all.

 _Is he ignoring me?_ was the second thought to run through Hinata's mind, as he was left standing by the school gates in the freezing snow. _But... why?_

...

Two days. It's been two days now. Two days since Komaeda last talked to him. Hinata had no idea why, either. Suddenly, Komaeda just seemed... distant. It wasn't like before, where he'd give him vague answers and bored glances. It was more like he was completely ignoring him. Every time Hinata spoke to him, or tried to get his attention, Komaeda just brushed him off. Hinata couldn't stand it. He didn't know what he'd done wrong. It was slowly eating away at his conscience, irritating him to no end.

Hinata was hurt, too. As much as Komaeda doesn't realize, he couldn't bear being apart from him. But this time, more than anything, he felt angry. If he did something wrong, why wouldn't Komaeda just say it it? Why wouldn't he speak up?

He wondered what he'd done to trigger this kind of thing. Did he say something careless? Did he offend him somehow? Or was it what happened between them on the bridge? When they headed home that day, it was clear Komaeda was upset. More than upset, actually. Hinata was pretty sure he'd never seen him like that before. It was a hard thing to consider, but Hinata figured Komaeda didn't want him to be so close to him anymore.

Hinata felt a little betrayed. Komaeda had told him that... he was here with him. The way he said it made it seem like he was never going to leave him. He'd be with Hinata no matter what. But now here he was, sitting in class with his heart slowly being torn to pieces with every moment that Komaeda ignored him.

Now that he thought about it, everything's changed in the past days. The snow's subdued for a while. Their sixth-period teacher wasn't - at the least - his usual self, giving the class an extend for their essay and . Komaeda's literally ignoring him. But... why?

It was a few minutes left before class got dismissed. Hinata snuck a glance at Komaeda, hoping to catch his eye. He was just sitting there, reading a horror book Hinata told him about a month ago. To him, it's like nothing was wrong. Did he just suddenly decide he didn't want to talk to Hinata anymore? That was sort of hard to think that was probable. It's not like he was assuming anything, but it wasn't like Komaeda didn't like him before. From the way he'd call him idiot and invite him to watch movies, that wasn't very likely.

He didn't know what to do to get Komaeda's attention. He's tried everything. Calling out his name didn't help. And when he put his hand on Komaeda's shoulder, he just shrugged it off. It was killing him, not knowing what was wrong.

The bell rang, and class was dismissed. Komaeda quietly packed up his books, ignoring the whispers, and ignoring Hinata as he walked past him.

Hinata gritted his teeth, a sort of rage flaring up inside him. He wasn't going to let this continue. He'd even turn to force if it meant talking to Komaeda again.

...

Day three was the time that Komaeda finally looked at Hinata. Their eyes had met once in the hallway, if only for a brief second before Komaeda quickly looked away. It filled Hinata with a small sense of relief, but it wasn't enough. He had to talk to Komaeda. He needed to. It had only been three days, but to Hinata, it felt like months since he heard Komaeda's voice. He couldn't take it. He needed to know what was wrong.

At night, he tries to line the dots together - if it was a little slip of the tongue, Komaeda would've said something back. The rumors weren't enough to be a bad cause. Maybe Souda _did_ have a secret relationship with Komaeda? No, that definitely couldn't be it.

Hinata rolled over for what it seemed like the hundredth time in his bed. Nothing was working out, much less making sense.

There must be a reason for this, he just knew. Was the universe trying to keep Hinata away from Komaeda? Or were they just not meant to be? That was… just not okay. Komaeda deserved to be happy. And if Hinata was given a chance, he'd definitely take it and make Komaeda feel loved. He'd do more than that, actually. He'd do anything.

Hinata sighed. Maybe Souda was right. Maybe he did have a bit of a hero complex.

The next day is shit. Their sixth-period teacher suddenly changed his mind and told them that due to "maintenance reasons" they had to pass the essay in two days. Everybody knew something came up and he just _had_ to take it out on something. And of the things he could've done it to, of _course_ his job was the best option.

Other than that, the snow was raging at them like a hurricane. The windows was dotted with bundles of white, and Souda had to go to the infirmary to lie on a heater.

Plus, Komaeda _still_ hasn't talked to him.

It was more than pissing him off already. Hinata felt like waiting, keeping it inside just for the sake of being logical, but he'd had enough. After their eyes met, it was like he tried extra hard to avoid Hinata at costs. He didn't even spare him a second glance - his veins curdled with rage at the thought. He's endured three days - no, technically four, of complete bullshit, and Komaeda's opted to act like he doesn't care. _Fantastic._

It's not that Komaeda isn't who he wants him to be. It's just exasperating knowing that he's waiting for nothing. Hinata wasn't a pessimist, but he can't help but think that he doesn't stand a chance against Komaeda. After , even his faith and love for him wouldn't count. That was how cruel reality was.

So, he decided. He'd do anything so that they wouldn't fall apart.

As soon as class was dismissed, Hinata had asked him for a little talk. Komaeda could tell his intentions, of course. His instincts were sharp as always. What was surprising was that this time, when Hinata called out to him, Komaeda actually stopped for him. Not to mention he actually agreed to Hinata's offer. But still, his only response was a simple nod.

They walked past the creaking school gates, heading to a tight path down the street. It was starting to get dark, but the sun was still there. Hopefully nothing too dramatic wouldn't happen.

They arrived at the bridge Hinata showed Komaeda just three days ago. To them, it was like an old friends' reunion or something. Hinata leant on the rail - the precise spot where they almost kissed, getting a perfect view of the washed cityscape.

The clouds were a dreary blue, and the sun was a mess of rosy orange fleeting across the sky. It lit the city up from here, casting back on the tumbling river below. The blossoms weren't swaying; just still, like the world behind them. Not far off from the stretch of snowy grass was a flowerbed of droopy, yellow roses skimming over the water.

Hinata leaned on the rail. He couldn't calm down. What was he going to say? He didn't know; with things as they were, he doubted they'd go back to being friends - right now, Hinata wasn't even sure if going back to who they were, as ' _friends_ ,' was what he wanted.

He just wanted Komaeda. Nothing else.

"What's wrong, Komaeda?" Hinata began, heaving a sigh. His eyes wandered over Komaeda's expression; stoic, as per usual. But there was a hint of emotion in his features with the way his shoulders seemed to sag as he completely avoided Hinata's eyes. It irked him to no end. "What did I do?"

A passing breeze was only his answer. Komaeda stood by the opposite rail, silent. Maybe he was wondering why he did it, too. But even that didn't reap out the ache in Hinata's chest. As the moments passed, Hinata's hands clenched into fists, gritting his teeth in frustration. Why wouldn't he just answer him? Why was he making this so difficult?

"You told me," Hinata said, a tremor in his voice. "You told me you were here with me, and you - you said you weren't going to leave-"

Komaeda brought his hands to his sleeve, fiddling with it. His eyes glared at the ground, filled with regret and guilt; emotions that Hinata couldn't see. "I didn't say that."

Although it's a relief to finally hear Komaeda's voice, the ire in his heart doesn't die. Not yet. "Well, it sounded like you did! What's the difference, Komaeda?" Hinata's voice raised up, breaking slightly at the end. He sounded so broken, it prompted Komaeda to look up at him. Their eyes met. _Admit it_ , Hinata's look said. _You know it too_. "Why can't you just tell me what's wrong? We're friends... right? Didn't you say so yourself?"

Komaeda lowered his gaze again, eyes ferreting over the old, hardwood floor. It pained him to hear Hinata like this. But he had prepared himself. He told himself he'd throw his weaknesses away, he'd throw Hinata away. Yet he was making it so difficult. Komaeda didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't know what was right and what was wrong. Was there even a choice to begin with?

He sucked in a deep breath. He couldn't do this. Not like this. "I-I... I can't." His voice was only a whisper now, but it still burned Hinata's heart.

"Why, Komaeda? Please just tell me why.”

"You won't understand me, Hinata-kun," Komaeda whispered. Hinata narrowed his gaze into a glare. "Nobody will. You're better off trying to understand somebody else."

"Do you think there is somebody else?" Hinata said, swallowing a lump in his throat. He took a few steps closer. Komaeda only seemed to shrink further with every clunk of his shoes. "So what if I'm an idiot? That won't stop me from wanting to be with you. _Nothing_ will."

_Even you pushing me away won't._

"Hinata-kun..." Komaeda murmured. It sounded more like a plea.

"How many times do I have to tell you?!" Hinata snapped. His emotions began to spill over, like an overflowing bucket. "There isn't anybody else, and there won't ever be! Look, I'm sick and tired of you ignoring me, okay? I just- I can't stand being apart from you anymore! I don't have any earthly concept on why you just started ignoring me out of the blue, but now it's- it's pissing me off! And since you won't even give me a goddamn straight answer, it's just pissing me off even more!"

Komaeda was fully backed up against the railing by now. Hinata slammed his hands down on the railing to either side of him. Komaeda was cornered, and he knew he couldn't escape anymore. Cautiously, he met Hinata's eyes once more, and was immediately overwhelmed by the amount of emotion flowing through them. Even if he tried to name them , he couldn't.

“If I'm doing something that's bothering you, then just come out and say it! Don't keep it to yourself. I... I can't stand hurting you. And if it's about the other day, I– I'm sorry, I–" Something welled up in Hinata's eyes, and he ducked his head to hide the pain. Komaeda's chest hurt. "I don't want to leave you. I– I know that's selfish of me, but dammit, Komaeda, I love you!"

Once Hinata’s said the last words, though, he was fazed. Red quickly bloomed on his cheeks and he chewed on his bottom lip. It takes seconds to sew and patch oxygen into Hinata's lungs again, but looking at Komaeda's melancholy-hidden face drawls time into decades. There's a transient, homely glow between them as the world holds still, on tiptoes and tremors and thudding rabbit hearts.

“Ah.” Hinata backed off and looked away, mortified. A hand covered his blush. “I’m— I’m sorry, Komaeda. I—“

“No, I…” Komaeda closed his eyes shut. His heart felt like it was beating a thousand miles an hour. The words rang through his head - _damnit, Komaeda, I love you!_ \- but he couldn't convince himself that those words just left Hinata's mouth. It felt like he was dreaming. He clenched his fist shut until his knuckles go bloodless. Could he say it now? His words start and stop with a stammer, before his grip involves nails digging onto skin and bloodless knuckles. He ducked his head down, hiding his flushed face from Hinata's view. "I… I really… I really like you too, Hinata-kun.”

The words were barely audible, but Hinata heard them clear as day. And at once, a tidal wave of emotion washed over Hinata. Relief, disbelief, confusion, happiness. It was like his big rant had taken of the words he knew straight out of his mind. He stared at Komaeda, eyes wide, mouth hanging open slightly. Komaeda still didn't look at him, but the blush on his face was obvious. Time stopped for the both of them.

Hinata couldn't believe that this- this was the outcome of everything. He thought Komaeda had hated him. that the almost-kiss from the other day was a step too far, and because of that, Komaeda had grown to hate him. He couldn't even _believe-_

His mind stopped as Komaeda reached up and placed his hand on Hinata's. They dropped down together, their fingers intertwining. Hinata felt like his heart was going to fly out of his chest at any given moment. Maybe now... Maybe now he could ask. "Can I…" A sputter punctuated his words, his hand warm in Komaeda's. "Can I kiss you?"

The only affirmation was a gentle nod of Komaeda's head. With his free hand, Hinata tilted Komaeda's chin, so their eyes could meet. The glow of emotion in his eyes made Hinata’s heart ache. He’d been wanting this for so long. His hand slowly moved to cup Komaeda’s face, and he leaned closer until their breaths mingled. Komaeda squeezed his eyes shut, preparing himself for what was about to happen.

Hinata slowly leaned down, his eyes scanning over Komaeda's blushing face. From his eyes - he had long eyelashes, he noticed - to his small nose, until his gaze rested upon his lips. Was this really alright? Komaeda had given him the okay, but... it wasn't moving too fast, was it? Hinata's hesitation was apparently obvious as Komaeda opened his eyes slightly. “H-hurry up and kiss me, you idiot..." he breathed out.

Komaeda's words threw away of Hinata's doubts as he gently pressed his lips against his. It was soft, chaste, a bit clumsy at first, and filled with the emotions they had for each other. Seconds seemed to last for years. Komaeda didn’t want to let go. He winded his arms around Hinata’s neck, tiptoeing to draw closer to him. Hinata pulled him close. Komaeda never wanted to let go of Hinata again. Never again.

It couldn't last forever, though. Hinata, too soon it seemed, drew back enough to rest his forehead against Komaeda's. His thumb stroked over the shorter boy's cheek, drawing out an embarrassed whimper. Their hearts were pounding, faces as red as a pomegranate. Komaeda slowly opened his eyes, looking up at Hinata's half-lidded ones. His voice was soft, shy, as he asked with a breathless stutter, “O-one more...?” And of course, Hinata relented. One turned to two, two turned to four, and four turned to eight, each kiss just as sweet and loving as the last. It was like they couldn't get enough of each other. And when they finally stopped and Hinata took him home, they walked together, hand-in-hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE KISS SCENE WAS INCREDIBLY EMBARRASSING TO WRITE OKAY but hey finally our gay dorks are together and now we move onto the fluffy fluff


	12. Bonding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cannot fuck in g believe this chapter is longer than chapter 11. also, this is kind of a filler chapter???? but its still got some important stuff in it. we also have a chapter open now for anything (before chapter 18, at least.) and if any of you have anything you want us to write, please tell us!!

Hinata was still in a kind of trance when he made his way back to the dorms. He couldn't believe he had confessed, and that the feeling was actually mutual. And then they had kissed... It was even better than he had ever imagined it to be. After he walked Komaeda home, Komaeda asked Hinata if he'd like to come in. Hinata obviously conceeed, and the two had watched a horror movie together as they snuggled on the couch. When the movie was over, Hinata confirmed with Komaeda if it was alright to come over during winter break.

“O-of course you can,” Komaeda had stuttered. “It... it wouldn't be the same without you here with me...” 

Both of them blushed at the words. Hinata had given him one more good-bye kiss on the forehead before he walked out of the mansion. Immediately afterward, a wave of bliss came over him. It felt more like he was floating as he walked back to the dorms.

By the time he got back, he had frost all over his frame, but it didn't matter in the least. He saw Souda jump in bed as he swung the door open, and gave a sigh of relief at the sight of Hinata.

"Bro! You scared the shit outta me!" Souda berated. Hinata went to settle down on his own bed, not caring about how stupidly dazed he may have looked like. The words kept ringing in his ears. _I really like you too, Hinata-kun..._

"Uh, dude?" Souda snapped his fingers to get Hinata's attention, his brows tucked together. "You mind explaining where've you been?"

"Komaeda's," he answered.

"Yeah. And what about the creepy little kid? I thought you two weren't talkin' to each other."

Hinata didn't reply, but kept the grin on his face. Just saying it out loud was enough of a challenge for him.

"Wait." Souda's jaw hung open. "Wait... d-did you... did you...?!" Hinata hid his face with his hands, hiding the blush that was crawling to his cheeks. He nodded once, confirming Souda's suspicious. Immediately, Souda clambered to sit beside Hinata. “How?! What happened?! Gimme the details, man!”

Moving his hands to clench at his pants, Hinata began to explain to Souda what happened mere hours ago. The confrontation that lead to the confession, how Komaeda said he liked him back - Hinata's heart raced, just saying it out loud - and how they had kissed and walked home. His voice was shaking in happiness, and he had to pause every few seconds to calm himself down enough to continue speaking coherently. Explaining everything it to Souda just made it feel even more real. 

When he finished, Souda gave him a hearty pat on the back. “Congrats, bro! You finally did it!” The two laughed together, pure bliss surrounding the two friends as they talked in the late night.

...

The snow had stopped falling when Hinata woke up. He sat up in his bed and stretched out his arms, his muscles tense from sleep. Winter break finally had finally came, meaning Hinata would be able to spend as much time with Komaeda as he wanted to. A kind of excitement pulsed in his bones. He'd be free for a whopping three weeks, without any homework to worry about.

Jumping out of bed, he slunk towards the window and peeked out. He saw a few streetlamps lit, along with a couple of citizens passing by the pedestrian walks. Traffic lights blinked between green and red as cars and motors drove on the frost-paved roads. The city wasn't completely awake yet, justified by how quiet and bare it looked just from this view.

Still, the sunrise wasn't something he couldn't notice. A marvel of clashing rose and orange soared in the sky, lighting up the sleeping city. It was the only thing that could make a city seem so bare and quiet. Hinata had seen many beautiful sunrises, deviating from a simple splash of yellow and a chaos of colors, but with the awareness of Komaeda in his life, he thought it might've been the most beautiful he'd seen so far.

Suddenly having the urge to drop by Komaeda's, he grabbed one of his jackets from his and Souda's shared closet and set out, carefully closing the door so as not to disturb his sleeping roommate. Hinata figured Komaeda must be awake by now.

He walked down the quiet, but busy street. Snow crunched under his tread. Some girls from Hinata's class encountered him and greeted him cheerfully. A flock of birds chirped on top of a streetlight, drifting off to join a couple of other chicks. Hinata smiled a little. Things have been brightening up since that day, it seemed.

He was on Komaeda's doorstep by the time the sun had risen, veiled by a wall of clouds. With Christmas coming closer, the days got colder; little light shone through the roof-decks and streets with snowy floors, and the clouds were always in the way and kept the sun from shining on the ground below. He rang the doorbell once. It didn't take even moment for the doors to swing open; Komaeda was already there, looking up at him with bored eyes. He had subtle bags under his eyes, and the faintest hint of a smile twitched across his lips. "Hinata-kun."

"Good morning," he said, returning the smile. "Were you waiting for me? You answered the door really quickly."

"No," Komaeda said. "I knew you'd come, being the idiot you are. I just... didn't want to keep you waiting." Komaeda blushed as he said the words, but he shook his head, as if to brush his fluster away. "I-It doesn't matter. Now come in. Don't wait for the snow to cover you up."

Hinata gave a soft laugh. “You don't have to tell me twice.”

...

The bleak morning had rose to a spirited afternoon, with yet another horror classic to watch and a roomful of warmth. The snow was falling once more, frost etching obscurity on any glass structure it could find on Komaeda's house to cling onto. The film ended with an old picture of an eyeless girl, before red mottled the entire screen for the credits to roll in. Komaeda seemed tired from watching, as he almost immediately turned the TV off once it ended.

"Feeling sick again?" Hinata asked, placing his hand on Komaeda's forehead. Hot.

Komaeda nodded, looking like he might faint at any given second. His fever had visible influences on him - his eyes were raw and lidded, and the sharp incline of his mouth suggested he wasn't just feeling upset. Without much of a word to say, he leaned his head on Hinata's shoulder, his voice scratchy as he spoke. "Bed," he'd muttered, almost inaudibly. “Sleep.”

In spite the coiling worry in his gut, Hinata can't help but let a smile twitched his lips up at how open Komaeda was with him. No, open wasn't quite the word - honest, perhaps? At the very least to say, when Komaeda was sick, it felt like he needed someone to lean onto at any moment, and Hinata was the kind of guy who'd be more than happy to offer his shoulder. He'd already told him that it was his 'disease' that weakened his immune system, but what about it? Was he always withdrawn with people and only open when he was sick?

But looking at him now, peacefully asleep right next to him... he had doubts Komaeda was easily open to just anyone else, even when he was sick. A kind of protectiveness flowed in his veins. Komaeda only opened up to him. Komaeda only trusted him.

Brushing his thoughts away, he slowly propped Komaeda up in his arms, and carried him upstairs to his bed, making sure he wouldn't just drop him so recklessly. His tiny stature made him easy to carry, though. He tucked the blanket over him and sat by the bedside, broodingly looking at his...

Boyfriend?

He flushed. Maybe it was too early to assume. Hinata didn't want any risks of causing a wobbly relationship; he didn't just sell his entire courage out to Komaeda that day simply for what some people in his class called a dating game. Still, wasn't a relationship based on taking risks and demands? As much as he wished to keep a safe distance from possibly upsetting Komaeda, he didn't just want to hold hands while they walked home together. If he'd had the opportunity (and the right timing) he wanted to take him out; make him see what he wanted him to see for so long.

Wow. Since when did Hinata get to the point of being so contemplative over relationships? For the first time since he'd met Komaeda, he has admittedly faced the ridiculous truth about himself. Hinata Hajime was lovesick. Awfully lovesick.

Grumbling to himself, he frowned at how his mind got so easily involved in such things. Sure, he had this bad habit of over thinking, and eventually he'd jump to conclusions and misunderstand what people actually meant. It was an infinitely irking part of himself that he knew couldn't be replaced or fixed; it was just there, like it was meant to be. Hinata hated it. And it caused him a great deal of fights, too - from ones that got his knuckles rent with blood to his parents lecturing him an earful of degrading spite.

Hinata reached a hand and placed it on Komaeda's cheek. A shudder writhed into his veins at how soft his skin was. His fingers drifted to the curve of his bottom lip and traced them, almost reverently. Much to his surprise, Komaeda churned in his sleep, and shifted perfectly enough to let his lips meet Hinata's hand. It took his breath away, and he stared at Komaeda, wide-eyed, like the idiot he was. Anything that involved Komaeda touching him on his own accord had easily made him overwhelmed, and that just made him twice as flustered. But then again, who could blame him? Komaeda was too cute.

...

Evening came when Komaeda finally woke from his slumber. He awoke with a yawn, tiredly reaching for his glasses to see Hinata by the bedside, already waiting for him with a smile. Was he watching him in his sleep?

"Hey. Good evening," Hinata whispered, his voice soft, face lit with affection. Komaeda's heart skipped a beat at the adoring smile he always wore, but he didn't make it show. "Did you sleep well?"

Blinking away the sleep caught in his lashes, he managed a curt nod. "You don't need to ask me if I did. You're not my nurse."

Hinata gave him another smile; half-apologetic and half-playful. "Well, it's my job to look out for you, as your classmate. I've got to make sure you're okay." His hand reached out, patting Komaeda on the head. “Not just as your classmate, of course, but also as the person who loves you. Get better soon, alright?”

Komaeda's face lit up like a stop light, immediately remembering his delusions from the last time he was sick. His heart pounded in his ears, almost as if it was trying to burst out of his chest. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Ah, Hinata truly had made him into an idiot.

So, instead of replying normally, Komaeda dismissed him with a snort. He sat up in bed, noticing the bruise-colored sky from his window. He'd have trouble getting some sleep much later, and he'd be tossing and turning at night for hours, waiting endlessly for morning to come. As he thought about spending a long night, his headache worsened. So much for getting better.

"Is something wrong?" Hinata asked.

"Nothing," Komaeda said, almost automatically. But a small twinge of guilt formed in his chest as he thought about the decision he made several days ago, and bit his lip. "I just... I won't be able to sleep easily tonight, because I took a nap. That's a long night for me."

Hinata was silent. He looked like he was trying to remember something, and looked away - flushing a moment after he did so. A tiny smile cracked on his face, and he hid his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking slightly. Was Hinata laughing at him?

"W-what are you laughing about, y-you idiot?" Komaeda demanded, puffing his cheeks. "T-there isn't anything funny about what I said!"

"N-no, it's nothing about what you said!" Hinata burst out between shaky laughter. "I-I just... remembered something."

"Oh? Was that you being an imbecile?"

Hinata smiled, finally composed. "No. I already know that because of you."

Komaeda burned further. "Just... say whatever stupid thing you remembered."

Hinata's gaze averted to the floor, his smile gentle, shy. "I... was just wondering if you'd like to hang out."

"O-of course I do," Komaeda said, his heart suddenly aflutter. "Aren't we hanging out right now, you idiot?"

"No, I meant..." Hinata stopped for a moment, before he mustered his will to speak again, though his voice was barely a murmur. "I was thinking if you'd like to go out with me. On a... a date."

"Oh." Komaeda looked down at the dark blue sheets that covered him, fidgeting with his hands. His ire quickly faded, "S-sure... I-I'd like to, but..." He pictured what their classmates would make of Hinata. "I don't want them to do what they did to me to you."

"They can't mess with me," Hinata said. "If they try to mess with you, I can and will mess them up."

Komaeda lowered his gaze, a frown making its way on his face. He didn't know if he could argue with that anymore - Hinata was too stubborn for him. "Alright," he said lowly. "I... let's just stay out of trouble, Hinata-kun."

Hinata smiled. "Of course."

...

Hinata went home early, eating dinner with Komaeda before he went for the door and kissed him goodbye. The street was dimly lit, his only guide the scant streetlights scattered in his way. He arrived at the dorms by 8:45.

Souda was texting someone (Sonia, he suspected) on his phone rather intently, merely giving Hinata a simple wave as an acknowledgment once he got to their dorms. Hinata glimpsed over what Souda was saying, before he forced a hand against Hinata, shoving him away.

"Dude, don't look at it! It's confidential between me and this... this girl!"

Hinata raised a brow. "What? Too shy to mention Sonia's name now?"

"No, no! It ain't Sonia-san!" Souda pulled his phone closer to him so Hinata wouldn't see, a doubted expression on his face. "This girl just offered free information for Sonia-san, y'know? Not that I wouldn't miss it."

"Free... information?" Panic rose in his throat. He heard the same word before, and it was when... "Wait, is that Enoshima? Don't trust her! She's trying to fuss trouble around, you can't -"

"Hey, hey man! Knock it off!" Souda waved his hand in front of Hinata, causing him to jolt. "It ain't Enoshima, alright? Just some random chick in my other class! Uh... Celestia Luden-something. She's close with Sonia-san! ...Or, at least, that's what she said."

"Celestia?" Hinata repeated. "There's another foreigner besides Sonia here?"

"Nah. Must be a fake name or somethin'. Chick didn't look that convincing, y'know? Just some lolita girl with some mad hair-do going on. And creepy eyes," Souda cringed. "Eh, but she didn't look like she was playin' field when she said she's close to Sonia-san. Looked pretty peppy when I verified."

"I see..." Hinata sighed. "That scared me a bit, though. I don't want the same thing to happen again."

"Yeah," Souda said, patting Hinata on the shoulder. "Don't worry, man. I gotcha. Ain't nobody gonna snag Komaeda from you."

"I hope so."

Souda made a face, looking as if he was about to lecture him about having doubts, when an idea lit up. "Wait. Why don't ya tell the kid you're, ah... boyfriends?"

Hinata blushed the darkest red, almost losing his capacity to speak. "W-wh-what?"

"Y'know, boyfriends!" Souda beamed. "That way nobody will steal him from ya. He's all yours! Y'know, and you can even get to marriage quicker!"

"W-we aren't getting married yet!" Hinata yelped, trying to compose himself. "A-and besides... d-do you think he'd even agree...?"

"Well, he said he likes you, didn't he?" Souda shrugged. "Why don't ya give it a try?" Hinata knew Souda had a point, but he made it sound so much more easier than it actually was. But, he figured, it wouldn't hurt to try.

...

Hinata stopped by at Komaeda's late in the afternoon. He didn't need to ring the doorbell; he knew Komaeda had been waiting for him, as he promised he'd stop by again. His fever had, unfortunately, shot up to a 102. He lumbered slightly as he led Hinata to the living room, and Hinata kept fearing he would trip and bang his head on the floor. But, judging from how he hopped into the sofa rather safely, perhaps he was managing himself well.

"So what do you want to do today, idiot?" Komaeda asked, his voice scratchy.

"Well, you have a fever. I don't think going out would be a smart idea, so a horror movie is fine."

Komaeda nodded, letting out a yawn as he reached for the abandoned blanket he left a while ago to fetch Hinata. He shivered slightly as he nestled himself in the covers, and Hinata felt his heart skip a beat at how adorable he looked.

"I'm fine," Komaeda rasped. "It's just... cold..."

"Oh, that's not what I blinked at," Hinata clarified, biting back a chuckle. "You're just too cute, y'know?"

Komaeda burned, giving Hinata a bashful glower. "I-idiot..."

Komaeda settled into the warmth of the couch, nuzzling himself within the covers. After a while, he rested his head on Hinata's shoulder, but didn't close his eyes. Hinata thought he was about to go to sleep when his classmate spoke up abruptly.

"Hinata-kun," he called out. Hinata turned to him with a raised brow, a smile on his face. "A-ah... c-could I ask you something?" Hinata simply nodded. "D-do you..." Komaeda sat up slightly, fidgeting. "Do you like... someone else?"

"No!" Hinata said quickly. "I- I only like you. Why do you think otherwise?"

"N-no, it's not that kind of stuff I meant. U-um..." Komaeda lowered his gaze, a prominent blush crawling its way to his cheeks. It made a pleasant contrast with his pale skin, Hinata noticed. And how he bit his lip too. Maybe it was what made him so cute. "I-I was just wondering i-if we were going to..."

It took a moment of Komaeda's fidgeting before it clicked in Hinata's mind. "Oh," he sputtered out. "Well, I-I'd like to make it special, y'know? You're sick, and it's cold outside, and I want to go somewhere you really like, but I don't know where yet-"

"No, that's not what I meant either..." Komaeda muttered. He seemed to shrink at every attempt he gave to make Hinata realize. "I mean... if we are what people... y-you know... i-it's okay with me..."

"Oh," Hinata stuttered. He fidgeted with his sleeve, uncertain of how it'd sound like if he said it. "A-are we... ah..."

To his surprise, Komaeda simply nodded, as if he was only waiting for Hinata to get what he was implying. "Y-you can call me your boyfriend, i-if you'd like."

That was too much for Hinata to contain, and he pulled Komaeda close to crush him in a hug. His classmate writhed under him, embarrassed, but didn't push him away. "I love you," Hinata murmured, his smile never disappearing. "I love you so much. Thank you for everything, Komaeda."

Komaeda flushed, grabbing onto the fabric of Hinata's jacket. He closed his eyes, listening to the sound of Hinata's accelerated heartbeat. It was a calm, soothing sound to him. "What are you thanking me for? I haven't even done anything, idiot."

Hinata chuckled, pulling back slightly so he could look Komaeda in the eye. "That's not true at all. You decided to trust me. You had finally let me in when all you seemed to do was push me away." Komaeda felt a pang of guilt, but quickly brushed it away. Hinata leaned down, resting his forehead against Komaeda's. Komaeda's heart raced, cheeks heating up even further as Hinata closed his eyes. A warm hand found its way to his, their fingers intertwining. "It's all thanks to you that I'm feeling this happy right now, Komaeda."

Komaeda squeezed his eyes shut, a smile threatening to play on his lips. "That..." He tried to say something, but his mind was running in a thousand directions all at once. He felt... happy. So incredibly happy. He never even knew he was capable of feeling so joyful.

He realized he should be the one thanking Hinata, not the other way around. Hinata was the one who barged into his life, hung out with him, stuck up for him, and accepted him. His wall was crumbling down, and it was all thanks to Hinata.

However, it was still there. The hanging fear, the anxiety that ate at him from the back of his mind. He took a step back, but he refused to push Hinata away again. No, Komaeda had that resolved in his mind the moment he said _I really like you, too_.

But... could he really trust Hinata? Would he really stay with him even if he told him? "I..." He tried again, but the words died on his lips just when he'd decided to say the rest. _No_ , Komaeda thought. _He can't know. Not yet._

Without anything left to say, he leaned farther down so the top of his head would meet Hinata's chin. He felt Hinata move to brush his lips against his forehead, and he felt the guilt swelling in his chest wash away. Hot air rose from his cheeks as he drew closer and closer to Hinata, clinging onto the shared warmth of his blanket and Hinata's hug. Maybe it wouldn't cost him too much to give him a chance. He'd felt an almost unbearable guilt to trying push Hinata away again, after all that.

Komaeda made up his mind. He'd give Hinata a chance. But he would watch himself - he'd keep them both on their toes. He wasn't sure if letting him know would make their relationship stronger, or more shaky yet. That was something they'd both have to see for themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no one knows why their winter break is so long. maybe its because the author made a miscalculation.


	13. Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is literally the fastest we've ever updated. Holy crap.

With Christmas closing in, the city was starting to get festive. Frost buried the city in white, shop and home owners put up decorations, and the people set out to offer passerby's a taste of color with street-side musicals and designer goods. Hinata didn't have any time to appreciate trends. He poured out all of his time with Komaeda, who got closer and became more and more open to him with each passing day. He smiled a little bit more, but still kept his bashful side. When it got cold, he'd scoot closer to Hinata and rest his head on his shoulder a few times, and quickly mutter an apology, which Hinata would simply laugh adoringly at.

Aside from the sunny side of Hinata's life, he kept his woes in a bottle. Even though Komaeda was his boyfriend - he still had trouble believing it, it was like a dream come true - he had completely no idea at all where he'd take him for their first date. Well, technically not completely, but he didn't want to settle for ordinary places like arcades or cafes. He wanted to make Komaeda happy; enough for a smile to reach his eyes.

He couldn't just ask Komaeda those questions straight, though. There was no way he'd do anything like that. It was too embarrassing. Just thinking about it made his cheeks light up like a Christmas tree covered in glowing red lights.

So, instead, what Hinata did was collect advice from magazines. He only read them when Souda wasn't there, of course; he quickly flipped from page to page, glancing at the door occasionally to check that his roommate wasn't about to see him in one of his most compromising poses yet. He had a few close calls, and it seemed like Souda was getting suspicious, but thankfully he hadn't commented on it.

Sunday moved by slowly. Cars drove past talking crowds as they left footprints in the snow. The traffic wasn't as congesting as it was yesterday, allowing citizens to walk by with ease. Along the streets, musicians did their work to enliven the quiet, drawing a herd of listeners in. Hinata was one of those people to appreciate the calm of the outside as he walked to Komaeda's.

It was almost becoming a routine to him - get up early, change, and walk all the way to the mansion. Maybe this year wouldn't be as bad as his previous ones - trips to the counselor's office, getting into verbal fights with his parents, his busy social life. This year would be different, and he was looking forward to it.

Komaeda was, as always, there the instant he rang the doorbell. He greeted him a mumbled "good morning" as he closed the door, ushering him upstairs. He was starting to get used to how gloomy this place was - and oddly in place. Not a speck of dust was seen on any furniture, and the walls showed no sign of yellowing. It was almost like a castle under some kind of preserving spell.

"Are you the one who cleans everything?" Hinata asked on a whim. "It's just that nobody's been here except you, and... it's like everything is still in place."

"Well, I am the only one who lives here, imbecile," Komaeda grumbled. "And no, not really. It just doesn't like to get untidy, is all."

"What do you mean it doesn't like to get untidy? Do you mean this place is... acting on it's own will or something?"

"Something like that," Komaeda said, the barest hint of a frown on his face. "To say the least."

Hinata didn't say anything else. There was still more about Komaeda to know, it seemed. And he had a feeling it wasn't just family history. But, Hinata was sure Komaeda would tell him all that when he was ready. He didn't want to push and make Komaeda uncomfortable.

They reached Komaeda's bedroom. The same pile of clutter graced the room; Komaeda's crinkled bedsheets, a few opened books on his desk with a lamp flowing wan light onto the pages, and finally, the half-opened door next to the adjacent bathroom. It was a side-room of some sort, Hinata figured a long time ago, but he didn't know what lied past the door up to this day.

"I'm sorry that I have to delay our... date... again..." Komaeda murmured, blushing at the word. "But I feel a bit lightheaded, and I don't want to have you bend down and check if 'I'm okay' every minute. So I hope you're okay with staying in for a horror movie again."

"I'm cool," Hinata said, messing Komaeda's hair up. "I get to be with you, and that's all what matters to me."

Komaeda huffed, his cheeks puffing. "Just... wait for me to feel a bit better so I can set it up, okay?"

Hinata shot him a handsome smile and nodded. The two talked for a bit, Komaeda resting in the bed while Hinata wandered around the room. His eyes, however, continuously glanced at the side room door. He was so curious about it, a continuous nagging at the back of his mind. "Hey, what's in this room?" Hinata finally asked as his curiosity reached it's peak. He tried to catch a peek of what was inside, but an alarmed yelp from Komaeda prevented him from doing so.

"N-no, don't open that!" Komaeda tensed, sitting up in bed immediately. An embarrassing kind of fear scrunched his features. His hands twisted the sheets that covered him as Hinata sent a curious look back at him. "Just... just don't open it!"

Hinata opened his mouth to say alright, that he'd ignore it, but it was too late. The door swung open - almost by itself - to set free a sea of oceanic plush animals, tumbling on the carpeted floor. Hinata's eyes widened as he saw every kind of sea animal on the floor - sharks, seals, turtles - and a whole lot more along the mess. Ah. So this was what Komaeda was hiding.

"I-idiot!" Komaeda leapt out of the bed to smack Hinata on the arm repeatedly, his face a maddening shade of scarlet. "I told you not to open it!"

“I-I didn't! It opened on it's own!” Hinata tried to defend himself between wheezes of laughter. Komaeda's faced burned with mortification, grasping tightly onto the fabric of Hinata's jacket. Man, Komaeda just seemed to get cuter and cuter with every day. "So, you... like sea animals?" Hinata asked quizzically, a stupid grin cracking on his face.

Komaeda ducked his head in embarrassment. "Y-yes, I do! Now shut up!” he growled, backing up and hiding the blush on his face with his arms. “N-now clean them all up right now or you can't kiss me for the whole day!"

Hinata fixed them all up in less than three minutes, horrified at the thought of not being able to kiss his boyfriend. When Komaeda calmed down and saw his that his plushies were all back inside of the side room, he went back to bed, apparently in a sulky mood.

"Are you happy now?" Komaeda grumbled, pouting at Hinata. "Now that you've seen whatever's in that room?"

"Well... yeah," Hinata said, rubbing the back of his neck. He shot Komaeda a sheepish grin. “I mean, thanks to that, now I know what makes you happy, too!"

Komaeda huffed, still keeping his glare on. "Y-you...!” he began, his face heating up. But as he took in Hinata's smile, his ire calmed into a dull anger. “You're really... such a moron."

...

Komaeda's fever faded once two hours had passed, little talks echoing on the dimly-lit walls. They sat on the couch, with Komaeda's head resting on Hinata's shoulder once more, as they watched yet another horror film. Hinata muttered an expletive when he had a jump scare every now and then, but didn't yelp or rant at the screen like he had used to. Komaeda almost missed his more silly side.

The movie ended after an hour and a half. They sat there, in a solitary kind of silence as the credits rolled in slowly as the movie's theme played. It was Hinata who spoke up first.

"Did you like it?" It wasn't a question that would get them far in conversation, but the silence that had settled over them was a tad bit awkward. _Better than nothing_ , Hinata supposed.

"It was fine," Komaeda said blandly. "Substandard for my taste, I suppose."

“Substandard? Why's that?"

"Too much gore. And they weren't so good at the drama part. The writing was bland and the plot was way too easy to guess, compared to other movies."

"I see.” Hinata hummed in thought. “But... didn't you get scared at some parts too?"

"I flinched when the doll came to life, but I didn't yelp like an idiot." Komaeda cleared his throat, shooting Hinata an amused look. Hinata chuckled. Having an inside-joke with Komaeda was a good sign, he thought. It meant they were close enough to share their own kind of humor.

Komaeda yawned, scooting away from Hinata to glance at the clock. It was 5:15; the sky had dimmed into a cloudless evening, and a streak of reddish-yellow light crossed all over the floor. A sunset.

"I-I feel better now, actually," Komaeda said out of the blue. A rosy blush tinged his cheeks. "S-so... um... t-thank you."

"It's no problem," Hinata said, giving him one of his princely smiles. Komaeda flushed further at that, and fidgeted with his hands.

"H-Hinata-kun...?" Komaeda began nervously. Hinata hummed, a questioning sound. "I-I....” Komaeda fiddled with his jacket sleeve, trying to bring up the courage to say what he was feeling. “I... I'd like to watch the sunset with you, if... if you wouldn't mind...”

Hinata's eyes widened slightly, a blush making it's way to his cheeks. This was rare. Komaeda was actually initiating. It made Hinata's heart sputter with happiness; it was overwhelming. Putting on his best smile, he took Komaeda's hand.

“Of course I wouldn't mind,” Hinata whispered, bringing Komaeda's hand up and pressing his lips against the back of it. “Whatever you'd like to do, I'd be more than happy to go along with.” Komaeda's face burst into a bright red. His heart felt like it was about to explode. Komaeda felt so overwhelmed by the emotions that filled his chest, it made his heart ache with such a bittersweet feeling.

They headed for the bridge quickly. The sunset was still glowing once they got on the bridge, a place that reminded them of good and bad things alike. Hinata leaned on the rail like he always used to, and observed the flushed sky. In spite of the weather snowing under the city, there were still days that allowed them to appreciate sunlight. Today was one of those days, especially with Komaeda being here with him.

"Is it your first time watching one?" Hinata asked. He leaned his head on his arms, sending Komaeda and adoring expression. A vein of flaxen light gilded Komaeda's face, contrasting his pale skin beautifully. "A sunset?"

"No," Komaeda murmured. He turned his attention down at the river below them, the water reflecting the sunset's figure in a hazy shape. "I... used to watch them all the time, with my parents. When... when they were still here with me."

Hinata didn't fail to notice the sorrow in Komaeda's tone. He straightened up, reaching for Komaeda's hand and clasping it tightly, as if in reassurance. He didn't say anything, but gave Komaeda a sincere look of _I'm here for you_. It wasn't an expression of pity, but comfort that he'd be there to catch Komaeda if he'd fall along the way.

Komaeda's cheeks heated up; he really cursed how easily he blushed in Hinata's presence. "Thank you, Hinata-kun..." Komaeda said simply, voice soft and shy. "Thank you for being here with me."

Hinata felt a certain pride, and a wave of love that washed over him. Noticing that the sky was fading, he leaned over to peck Komaeda on the lips. He did it out of a cloying idea, hoping to imitate those kinds of sunset-screen scenes like in films. Yeah, he was lovesick. But he couldn't blame himself for having his heart stolen, couldn't he?

The good mood was getting to Komaeda, however. It affected his mind, his reasoning, as he reached up around Hinata's neck and brought him back down. Their lips met once more, and Hinata's surprise was apparent as he didn't respond immediately.

Komaeda knew this wasn't him, this sudden boldness wasn't who he was. But he couldn't help it. Especially with how Hinata's arms wrapped around his waist, bringing him closer as he tilted his head for a better angle. A little whine sounded in his throat as Hinata's hands rubbed his back. Komaeda never expected this - this overwhelming affection just from being with the one you loved. From holding hands with them, embracing them, kissing them...

Panting, the two parted for air. Hinata looked a little dazed, his eyes lidded as his arms continued to hold Komaeda close to him. They had only been officially together for a few days now, but it seemed so much longer than that. Komaeda looked up at him, giving him an honest smile. Hinata's heart skipped a beat at the sight. It stole his breath away, especially with the way the setting sun reflected in his eyes. _Captivating_ would be the only way to describe it.

After what seemed like ages, Komaeda released his hold around Hinata's neck, Hinata letting go of Komaeda as well, as he backed up slightly. His heart still fluttering in his chest, Hinata grasped Komaeda's hand once again. "Let's go home,” he murmured, unable to stop himself from smiling.

Home. How long had it been since Komaeda had ever thought of that mansion as a home? Brushing the thought aside, Komaeda returned the smile, and squeezed his hand. "Of course."

After that, the two hung out for a while longer. The saying “time flies when you're having fun” especially applied here, as Hinata came back at the dorms barely in time. He bribed the dorky guy on watch to do his break homework as an exchange for letting him in, and luckily he didn't put up an objection and agreed to Hinata's terms. Monday didn't give him much time to spend with Komaeda, because he slept late and he had a whole awful lot of researching and page-turning to do for the homework he offered to do.

Tuesday was better. He woke up early to finish the last etches of the two-paged essay, and slunk out of his room to dispatch his "homework" to the guy on-watch. They shook hands, exchanging knowing glances that this would be a secret between them.

He went straight to Komaeda's, but noticed an advertisement for an aquarium that had been put up on the school gates. Having a bright idea, he beelined for the building.

...

He got to Komaeda's at 12:30 am drenched in his sweat and breathless. The ticket counter was three floors up, and two of the elevators were out of order. Unluckily for him, there was a crowded line just waiting to get up, and he just couldn't keep Komaeda waiting anymore. Then there was an extra three blocks for him to run for.

"What took you so long?" Komaeda asked, his ire evident in his scowl. Hinata could be mistaken, but... did he hear a hint of longing, too? "I... I've been waiting for you... y'know..."

A smile pulled his lips up, and he fumbled for the pair of tickets he'd bought for them. He took it out, showing it to Komaeda proudly. "For this."

Komaeda's eyes widened at the ticket and practically squealed in delight. He didn't give Hinata enough time to recover from his surprise as he leapt at him to give him a hug, tiptoeing slightly to balance himself. "Thank you, Hinata-kun! I really appreciate it!"

"Y-you're... welcome...?" Hinata said, in a barely coherent tone. The excitement in his veins surged in, slowly, as he just took in what happened. Komaeda had... _squealed._ That was a first. The words kept ringing in his head until he burst out laughing, alarming Komaeda slightly.

"W-what are you...?" Komaeda was about to say, pulling away from Hinata. Then, he realized it, too. He flushed, and glared at Hinata with the intimidating edge of a baby seal. "I-I...! I mean, w-what are you laughing for, y-you idiot?!"

Hinata tried to control his laughter, though only hardly succeeding. "N-nothing!" he giggled. "You're just-"

Komaeda backed up, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. "Don't even say it! J-just shut up! That... that didn't happen, okay?!"

Hinata chortled, pecking Komaeda on the cheek as he looked at him, still amused. "Alright."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> firST DATE FIRST DATE FIRST DATE FIRST DATE I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS MOMENT SINCE BEFORE WE STARTED WRITING THIS FIC


	14. First Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nbbbbblugh romance

Hinata kept checking the clock on the wall for the appointed time Komaeda was supposed to meet him. His nerves were keeping him on edge. It was their first date, after all. He was already getting jumpy about bad-luck scenarios that could possibly once Komaeda had arrived. What if there was a long line to get in and time ran out before they wasted too much time? What if Komaeda got a fever again and fainted? What if Komaeda didn't come at all?

Standing alone in a train station, he did his best to push his worries away. He was in public. Plus, it was their first date. Of course Komaeda would arrive. The way he got excited just from seeing the ticket made the chance that he changed his mind slim. He would come. Hinata was sure of it.

He shot glances in every direction, hoping to see his boyfriend amongst the sea of faces. It had been exactly six minutes past the time they were supposed to meet, and he was beginning to worry about what could've happened to Komaeda by now. The fact that the snow was acting up again wasn't helping, either.

"I'm right here, you idiot."

Hinata's heart nearly leapt into his throat at the sound of Komaeda's voice. He glanced down to see him, clad in a black scarf and his usual bat-flapped jacket with his hood up, slightly flushed from the shivering cold.

"What took you so long?" Hinata sighed as he held Komaeda's hand, frowning at how cold it was. "I got worried, you know."

"Obviously, like the idiot you are," Komaeda said wryly. "I'm fine. It's just cold."

Hinata said nothing else. That was a natural reason to delay a date - it wasn't anything he couldn't help, after all. But he was still worried.

They got to the waiting area where they stood in awkward silence. He knew by then it was just his tendency to get strained over little things, but he couldn't curb them. He just didn't want something bad to happen to Komaeda. That was fine, right?

Hinata was going to try to tell Komaeda about his cold hands to lighten the damp mood when the train screeched to a halt, announcing the sixth stop for the day. They walked onto the platform and settled for two seats in a vacant row, by the opposite doors. Not too many people were around, aside from a jet-lagged guy on the row beside them and a couple of businessmen in hats. Hinata didn't mind.

It was their second stop when he noticed Komaeda blowing into his knuckles, trying to get some feeling back. Hinata took his gloves off and handed it to him.

"No, I-I'm fine..." Komaeda refused shyly. "I-it's going to come back after a while..."

"Take them," Hinata urged, looking at Komaeda in the eye. "I want to keep you warm."

Komaeda hesitated, but took them anyway. He put them on only to see it was too big for him, looking funnily in his too-small hands. Hinata tried not to laughed, but it proved difficult to keep it in.

"S-shut up..." Komaeda flushed, covering his face in his hands. Hinata smiled. Maybe he wouldn't wash his gloves for a while once he got them back.

There was minimal conversation between the two during the train ride. Komaeda began to doze off, his head nodding up and down as he tried to stay awake. “You can lean on me, you know,” Hinata offered. Komaeda glanced at him, his eyes lidded with drowsiness, as if he was debating whether or not to take him up on it. To Hinata's joy, though, Komaeda eventually rested his head on his shoulder, closing his eyes.

“I'll wake you up when we arrive,” Hinata whispered to him, his voice soft and soothing. Komaeda merely nodded, unable to reply, before falling into the depths of unconsciousness.

... 

It was early afternoon once they arrived at their stop. Hinata was a little reluctant about waking his boyfriend up, his sleeping face making the task difficult. But he had to do it. "Komaeda?" Hinata murmured, shaking him on the shoulder slightly. Komaeda stirred, and made a groggy noise as an answer. "We're here. You said you were hyped for the aquarium, remember?" Komaeda awoke with a start. He blinked a couple of times, and took Hinata by the hand, running off from their seats.

They got to the entrance without a hitch - the place wasn't that crowded, giving them sufficient space to move around. Lining up to surrender their tickets wasn't a problem, either. Everything was falling into place. Komaeda was definitely excited - Hinata could see it in the gleam of his eyes, and the way he fidgeted in place.

Komaeda was practically beaming when they finally entered the aquarium. It was an interesting side to him; like he was a little kid. He took Hinata by the hand and dragged them to all sorts of exhibits. Komaeda taught him all different kinds of stuff about the ocean - especially the deep sea.

“The angler fish is one of the most interesting fish of the deep ocean. To me, at least,” Komaeda began. “It lures its prey in with a dangling light - kind of like a fisherman does. The prey sees that light and thinks its food, and when itgets close, the angler fish swallows it whole.”

Hinata listened attentively the entire time. He had no idea Komaeda was _this_ enthusiastic about this kind of stuff. They continued to whole hands throughout the impromptu tour Komaeda was giving him. Hinata, himself, had never been all that interested in the ocean. But Komaeda's excitement was infectious. He found himself wanting to learn more, to see more, as they went from exhibit to exhibit.

They stopped for a rest in front of a giant ocean fish tank. Multitudes of different kinds of fish swam in it, as well as sharks and sea turtles, and even sting rays. The two sat on a bench up on the upper floor where they could get a better look at the tank. Komaeda had calmed down some by that point, but his grip on Hinata's hand was tight as ever.

"Thank you," Komaeda murmured. "I... I really appreciate you doing this for me, Hinata-kun."

Hinata let out a soft laugh, squeezing Komaeda's hand once. “You give me too much credit,” he said. “I just wanted you to enjoy yourself.”

Komaeda glanced up at him, his face flushing. He leaned against Hinata, resting his head on his shoulder. “My parents brought me to this aquarium all the time,” he murmured. He felt Hinata grow stiff, obviously remembering that Komaeda's parents were dead. “Mom and dad were usually busy with work, so they weren't home often. But they always made sure to keep me happy and healthy. So, they'd always take off at least one day a month just to spend the whole day with me. They let me pick where I wanted to go, and I'd always choose the aquarium. I don't really know why I love it so much. The ocean just fascinates me. There's so much in there that's unknown, waiting to be discovered. My parents knew that I liked it, so they never questioned me about it.”

Hinata lowered his head. He was happy that Komaeda was opening up to him, but... he couldn't ignore the way Komaeda's hand would grip his tighter at every mention of his parents. “They...” Hinata began, trying to piece the words together. “They must have loved you a lot.”

Komaeda let out a shaky sigh, closing his eyes. “I suppose they did.”

Hinata bit his lip. Was this really alright? The mood wasn't ruined or anything; it was still there, but it had taken a sad direction. He gave Komaeda's hand a squeeze. "Komaeda, I..." he trailed off, his mind trying to piece together what he could say next.

Komaeda lifted his head from Hinata's shoulder, looking at him. "... What is it?" he asked.

Hinata turned to face Komaeda, eyebrows knit together in determination. "I love you, Komaeda. More than anything in the world. You know that, right?"

Komaeda's face burst into red. "Wh-what are you saying all of a sudden?" he asked, beginning to scoot away in embarrassment. But Hinata stopped him by holding onto his shoulders, prompting Komaeda to meet his eyes again. They were filled with love, affection, worry; all kinds of bittersweet emotions that made Komaeda's heart feel like it was going to burst.

"I want you to know that I'm always here for you, Komaeda," Hinata said. "You'll always have me by your side, no matter what. Even if things get chaotic and hectic, I'll always be here." His hands traveled down Komaeda's arms, grasping at the smaller hands that still had his gloves on them. Hinata leaned down, eyes lidded. "I told you before, didn't I? I won't leave you. I promise."

How could Komaeda forget? Even though that day in the library seemed like a century ago, it still rang clear in Komaeda's mind. "H-Hinata-kun... I..." _I believe you. I already threw my doubts away and decided to trust you. You don't have to worry about that anymore._ So why couldn't he say it? Why was he still so hesitant? He could trust Hinata. He knew he could. Then why was he holding back?

"Komaeda," Hinata mumbled, snapping Komaeda out of his thoughts. "I really want to kiss you."

Komaeda's cheeks burned. Now wasn't the time to start questioning himself. He could leave that for later, when they weren't in the middle of a date. His eyes darted around. Most of the people that came to see the exhibit were on the level below. There were a were others on their level, but none of them were paying attention. "O-okay... But just... just for a little bit..." he murmured.

Hinata firmly pressed his lips to Komaeda's. There was no room for hesitation or pauses as Hinata's lips moved actively against his boyfriends. Komaeda grabbed onto Hinata's jacket, overwhelmed by the amount of passion Hinata was pouring into him. It made his chest ache with so many emotions it practically hurt. He loved Hinata. He loved him so much. But he couldn't say it.

He wasn't there yet.

With that thought, Komaeda pulled back, panting. Hinata wanted more, that much was obvious, but he recognized that that was enough for now. He sat up straight, one hand still holding Komaeda's. "Shall we look around some more?" he offered. Komaeda's head was still slightly dizzy from the amount of affection he just received, but he nodded nonetheless.

...

It was six when they left the building. It was still cold out, but it wasn't as bad as it was before. People were starting to clear out of the aquarium, since it closed its doors at 8:00 pm. The silhouettes of tiny apartments turned black under the sky, which let anyone walking by question if there was anything looming.

The train ride back was quiet between them, but they didn't mind it. Komaeda rested his head on Hinata's shoulder again, though he didn't fall asleep. It made Hinata wonder what he was thinking about. His parents? The date? Or maybe it was something Hinata didn't know about yet? Even though they were dating, Komaeda was still such a mystery to him. He was still secretive and never told the entire truth.

However, Hinata could tell that Komaeda was finally opening up to him. Before, he would have never talked to Hinata about his parents. Hinata still didn't exactly know why Komaeda didn't tell him they were dead from the start, but he supposed that he had his reasons. Maybe one day, Komaeda would open up to Hinata and tell him everything. He wasn't going to pressure him or anything; he wanted Komaeda to tell him on his own accord.

"I had fun," Komaeda said, clutching at Hinata's hand tightly as they both left footprints on the frost-covered road guiding home. His voice snapped Hinata out of his thoughts. "Thank you, Hinata-kun."

Hinata looked down at him. Komaeda's voice hasn't changed since he brought his parents up, but he seemed a little sad now. "Do you want me to stay longer?"

"Isn't that what you told me from the start?" Komaeda grumbled, looking away from him. "S-stupid..."

Hinata laughed as a winter breeze past by. They reached home once it was six-thirty, and just as he promised, Hinata stayed in for the next few hours. Komaeda wasn't really in the mood for a film, but he was fine with what Hinata opted for anyway. They snuggled up on the couch together, discussing little things that held no particular meaning. These were the times that the two of them cherished most. When they could just waste time together, staying in the here and now.

But at some point, Komaeda grew quiet, like he was thinking hard on something. Hinata noticed this, and immediately asked what was wrong. Komaeda looked up at him, studying Hinata's worried expression, then closed his eyes as if coming to a decision. He leaned further against Hinata, whose cheeks flushed.

“Hinata-kun,” Komaeda began. “Would you like to meet them?”

Confused, Hinata stared down at Komaeda's messy white hair. “Meet who?”

“My parents.”

Hinata felt his stomach drop. “M-meet them? Uh...” He pulled back as Komaeda sat up, studying his expression again. “You mean visit their... um... their graves?”

Komaeda nodded once. His eyes lidded as a frown made its way onto his lips. “I haven't visited them in a while; I never really had a reason to.”

Hinata could see his shoulders shaking. "Are... are you alright, Koma-"

"I'm not about to cry on you," Komaeda said, cutting Hinata off. "I… I just want to tell them that I have… someone now." Hinata felt his cheeks heat up as his heart began to race. Komaeda took his hand. "Will you come with me to a flower shop tomorrow?"

Hinata nodded, his hand squeezing Komaeda's slightly. "Of course I will," he said, a smile on his lips.

…

Sleep didn't come in easily for Hinata that night, though. He was happy about their date, of course; even now, he felt light as he thought about it. He didn't want Komaeda to know, but he stole a few pictures of Komaeda smiling at fish tanks and looking elsewhere when they sat close together. Hinata felt like scrolling through them, but he didn't want to give that kind of impression to Komaeda's parents.

Komaeda's parents...

Something about them unnerved him. Not that he thought they were secretly bad people - he actually believed that they were the opposite. After hearing about visiting their graves, Hinata suddenly felt being watched. He couldn't even think about anything - he felt that, if he did, Komaeda's parents would see through his thoughts and grant him a stroke of bad luck.

What's worse was he didn't know if they even liked him. What if they actually thought he wasn't good for Komaeda and did something to separate them? What if -

 _Hajime_ , he heard his inner voice speak. _They're_ _dead_. 

Hinata's train of thought stopped. The windows were slightly open, making a raspy creak as a gust of wind slipped through the crack. It was cold; Hinata shivered a little. 

His phone lit up with a message from Komaeda. Picking it up, he squinted through the glow of the screen.

_> > Wake up early tomorrow. Don't keep me waiting._

Hinata smiled, a somewhat heavy feeling in his chest. Komaeda texting him was a rare occurrence. With practiced precision, he typed a swift reply.

_> I'll be at your house at 6:30. Don't worry._

After that was done, Hinata’s consciousness slowly began to drift. At two-thirty, Hinata was sound asleep. His phone lit up again with a new message, but it wasn't received.

_> > Goodnight, Hinata-kun._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH BOY


	15. A Note for the Readers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A note for all the followers of the series. Please do read!

hellow everyone!! before i start this note, mooks and i would like to apologize for the long hiatus. we’re aware that it has been in fact nearly a year (ten months, to be exact) since we’ve last updated. but please don’t worry! chapter fifteen’s content is in good progress. it’ll be sure to be uploaded soon! 

anyway, i’d just like to announce that **i will be now taking over**. mooks, aka datkarKatass, won't be able to write for the series as she’s no longer active in the beta fandom as she was before. she will, however, still help me with the proofreading and such, but all the content will be under my hands. i only ask everyone to please be patient w/ me. i will do my best to upload the chapters as fast as possible, and to make sure that the chapters are quite lengthy. i’m in high school, so i also have other priorities to tend to! 

i’d also like to say that i’m open to any questions/discussions about the series, or even just beta komahina in general! you may hmu at my personal blog. it’s hajimemed. please ask away! 

so, with that being said, i hope everyone has a rad day! thank you so much for your time! ✩  

 


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